24 weeks!!!

woohoo!!! we have made it to 24 weeks with our sweet twins!!

things are going great, at least according to my doctor (who i saw today) and my friends who are moms of twins, and my friends who are moms, and my family...etc. the last few weeks i have needed a little extra encouragement. last week brought up some thoughts, fears and emotions. we surpassed our gestational time that we spent with Charlotte. we delivered Charlotte at 22wks 6days. so, this week i have appreciated all the support and encouragement from loved ones and most of all, all the little kicks and pokes from these little girls.

plus, sometimes its the little things! this week we have been gearing up for our trip to see my family. we will spend 4 days in michigan with my dad and his side of the family and then spend 4 days in florida with my mom and her side of the family. we cant wait to see everyone!! this will be our last tip before the girls come! (well, peter is going on a missions trip in early february and i am hoping we can do a weekend away before they girls get here). anyway, part of going to florida means wearing a bathing suit. i kinda forgot about that until last week. funny thing is, my mom thought it the same day and ordered me a few bathing suits that were super on sale. tuesday night i came home and tried a few on. oh my! i was feeling very pregnant!! i looked it too, but peter said it was all a great thing...that i looked great. it made me feel so good, that he didnt think i was a huge whale in basically no clothing. then today, my friend, rachel, said "hey, you dont even look pregnant from the back!" guess she knew i needed to hear a little encouragement about my weight/looks/size/huge belly!! its the little things. today it was a kind word!!

i did have an appointment today with an ultrasound. i just love seeing those little babies moving and grooving inside there! everything seemed to be great again this visit. THANK YOU, GOD!!! for the second time in a row, the first thing dr. todd said was "you have some big babies in there!" at least this time the word "huge" was not used :) the coolest thing was seeing the membrane that separates the two girls. during their video appearance today they were pushing, shoving, punching that membrane, seemingly trying to get to each other. so cute!! Annabel is still laying across the top of my belly with her head on my right side. Claire is now breech with her head right next to Annabel's. Claire is kinda going diagonal. pretty cool!!

i go back in two weeks (yes, every two weeks right now) for a doctor check up and my glucose test. i am already praying that i will pass the first test! then back again two weeks later for an ultrasound.

here are a few pics from today...not as clear/as good, but the tech was really rushed. they forgot to schedule the ultrasound for twins. thats ok, she did confirm that they are both still girls and growing right on track!

Claire and Annabel putting their heads together. plotting to beat me up from the inside!

Claire. alien face :)

Annabel, head down. look how cool it is to see her spine and ribcage!!

Annabel, alien face :)

me, last week, at 23 weeks. i havent taken one yet this week. oh well. 

woohoo for 24 weeks and viable babies!! still praying to make it to 37 weeks, but feeling a little more secure. thank you, Lord, for these amazing blessings!!

nursery update soon...its definitely coming along!! :)

blessings, ALo

Belated Pictures

i can not believe another week is almost over...or just starting...either way. this month is just flying by, which means this pregnancy seems to be flying by. a few months back, when i felt so sick, i would not have said that at all! well, i am feeling great (except for a few minor things) and have been so busy traveling, working, planning, etc. that i rarely make the time to sit down and blog about much of anything. guess this is the start of my busy life being a mommy to twins!! :)

we are so excited about having two more little girls!! claire and annabel are already so spoiled by so many people...lots of love has been poured out from people near and far. thank you to all who have been praying for all four of us!! things are still going great!!! when we went (almost 2 weeks ago) for our big ultrasound, they were both VERY healthy...in fact the first thing my doctor said was "well, these babies are HUGE!" lol!! i guess that is not a huge surprise knowing that peter is 6'9". i actually had to go in this week for a minor little thing (blasted UTI...not cool, but apparently very common, esp with twins). but, going in meant hearing their heartbeats again...most wonderful sound in the world!!!

this week has been a little bit more, i dont know, stressful, i guess. i am a little more paranoid about the smallest things. when was the last time i felt movement, what is different this week than last, am i doing all that i am supposed to, am i doing those things the way i am supposed to (ps. the whole sleep on your  left side ONLY is kinda hard for me...not normal). all of this extra thought and care because we said good-bye to our Charlotte at 22wks 6days. today i am 22wks 3days. part of my anxiety is knowing that something bad could still happen, the other part is because i am coming into uncharted waters. not that there is anything about this pregnancy that is the same as our time with Charlotte, but still. so, just pray that God continues to give me peace as He grows these babies for the next (hopefully) 14 weeks!!!

ok, so here are a few pictures of our sweet baby girls!! these are all from last week's big ultrasound.

Baby A: Claire Mackenzie

Claire's feet

Claire is definitely a girl!!

Baby B: Annabel Marie

Again, no question, Annabel is a girl! 

i will go back the 20th for another appointment, including an ultrasound. this begins my every two week appointment schedule with an ultrasound every other time.

thanks again for all the love, support, encouragement, prayers, gifts, messages, and calls!!! we are so blessed to have so many people love us and our girls!!

blessings, ALo

ps. the nursery is just starting to come along. i promise to post a few pics as we get things done. right now it is just the cribs. :)

Gender Reveal

well, its now official!!

we are having two little GIRLS!!!

Claire Mackenzie and Annabel Marie.

i am super tired tonight after a day full of excitement, but i wanted to share a few photos of the big party!! we were so blessed by all of our friends that came to celebrate with us...just over 60 people! so awesome! thanks to all that came and to all those have said congrats and wished us well through social media!! our little girls are going to be sooooo spoiled!!

besides finding out they are girls, everything looked great today! the one comment my doctor had was, "these babies are huge". lol!!! uh, thanks??!!?? they will surely take after their daddy!!

we received some really sweet gifts tonight too...i will post some cute pics of that later and more about the fun party...but i am just too tired :) thanks for understanding!! i will also post pics of the girls :) they are so cute!!!

the desserts, including cookies shaped as lips and mustaches!! :) 

Baby A cake

Baby B cake

SURPRISE!!!! 2 GIRLS!!!

look at everyone's faces as they realize whats going on...priceless!!

Claire and Annabel's first outfits from us (mommy and daddy!!!)

thanks for being patient, but for being so excited with us. we are truly blessed. God is sooooo good!! good night!

blessings, ALo

Whirlwind

i feel like we have been on a whirlwind the last few weeks! right now, i am sitting on the love seat in my hubby's old bed room in plainfield, nj! last friday we flew from houston to atlanta to pittsburg, pa. we spent 4 days in washington, pa. visiting peter's mom and her family there. i was hoping that the travel would be uneventful, but no such luck. one of my worst fears came to be...i had to throw up on the airplane (hasnt happened in about 18 years!) thankfully, or not thankfully, i made it to the airplane restroom. do you know how disgusting those things are? and then to be squatting, 5 months prego with twins, trying not to touch anything in said disgusting space. thinking about it made me loose my cookies a few more times. i wouldnt call myself germaphobic, but there are limits and that crossed all of mine!! anyway, our time in pennsylvania was nice! we hadnt seen his grandparents in about 14 months, so that was awesome. we also saw his two great aunts and his aunt and uncle and cousin from maryland. we all celebrated thanksgiving on sunday afternoon. wednesday morning we packed up and just as we were about to head out to the car to begin the drive to new jersey, we got a text from our "fake family" in ohio that they were passing through washington and wanted to grab coffee. it was so awesome to see some of our ohio family (doug, caroline, and breezy) even just for a few minutes. my "fake sister" morgan lives in west virginia with her husband. they are expecting their first baby about 3 weeks before the LOtwins come. so fun!!! most of wednesday was spent on the road driving...the worst traveling day of the year was not as bad as it could have been, but of course i was sick almost the whole drive, so i tried to sleep the vast majority of it. are you catching a theme here? i am a horrible traveler, even as a child, i tend to get very motion sick! heartburn and pregnancy did not help this trip. thankfully, peter, laura, and bob were very understanding and allowed me pit stops when needed. it was really nice to spend extra time traveling with peter's sister, laura, and her husband, bob. laura and i get along really well...we love our girl chats! neither one of us are that great on the phone, so we have to make up for lost time when we see each other. :) bob and laura left new jersey this morning to head back to pennsylvania to get ready for the first day of deer season (monday). we got to see all of the new jersey family while they were here, which was great. thanksgiving dinner on thursday was a huge success and we had lots of great food, some of which laura and i had a part of making. peter and i leave for home tomorrow afternoon. we are glad to have a direct flight from new york into houston, but the flight is about 4 hours. please pray i do NOT get sick on this flight!!! 

i know it has been a while. things with the LOtwins have been going great. i am starting to feel pretty big! today i am 20 weeks and 3 days. definitely over half way! i guess with twins, 18 weeks is half way...but either way, we are starting to get super excited! this tuesday, the 27th, we will have our big anatomy scan and also find out the genders of the LOtwins!!! we cant wait!!!! we have planned a gender reveal party with some friends...and since i feel like i can eat sweets again, i am excited to share that with our friends in houston. here is the invite we sent out...thanks to my awesome friend, amos, for designing the invite (if you ever need anything done graphically, let me know, i will get you his contact info). here are a few pics from this week too! check back tuesday night for a blog gender reveal!! :) 

Caroline, me, Breezy, Peter, Doug. miss them so much!!!

Bob and Laura on thanksgiving. so thankful for them!!

20wks1day with 2 banana sized babies! definitely showing!!

my hunky hubby and me at his grandparents on thanksgiving. i LOVE his beard!! hope he doesnt shave it off dec. 1!

i pray you all had a very blessed thanksgiving! i know the holidays can be very difficult for some. i am praying that we all feel God's love and continue to see His blessings throughout this whole holiday season! 

blessings, ALo

Never Stops

i never stop thinking about Charlotte. depending on the day, thoughts of Charlotte take up anywhere from a few to most of my thoughts. yesterday and today it was most. i cant even really tell you why. i did think today about how 2 years ago right now, we were getting excited to see our little girl on screen for the first time.

today, i publicly broke down. i havent done that in a while. i felt just a little bit crazy, but felt so loved after. so, at work we met as a staff just to pray together (best job ever!!!). we have a lot going on from now through the holidays, so we like to all get together often to lift each other up and keep the enemy away. today, towards the end of the prayer time, we prayed for things that we know will happen in heaven would happen here on earth (what is bound on earth will be bound in Heaven, what is loosed on earth will be loosed in Heaven. matt. 18:18). with my thoughts already going towards Charlotte i found myself praying that today...in complete tears. thankfully, all my coworkers know our story and know all that God has blessed us with over the last few years. i loved that they were all praying in agreement with me and for my family.

here was my prayer today:

God, as peter and i look to be reunited with our sweet baby in heaven, please let us raise these twins without the cloud of grief that we still feel. allow us to lead our kids to always bring all glory and honor to You.

i felt such peace, just praying the words out loud...being honest, that there are still days of grief. that we still miss our little girl. that even though we are more than thankful for our double blessing, we still miss Charlotte and wish she were here too. i came home and told peter about today, cried a little more, but again was comforted knowing that he knows exactly how i feel, even said that he has been thinking about Charlotte a lot this week.

i am feeling great right now in this pregnancy with the LOtwins. we are all very excited to find out on the 27th exactly what they "are". i still just miss Charlotte and think about her a lot. i think that is probably "normal"...at least i hope. but i guess, even if its not, its where i am right now.

here is a song that i have had on repeat for the last week. we sang it last week at church during our night of worship. i felt the LOtwins move for the first time during this song. it is just so fitting for all that i am thinking and feeling...and for all that is happening in our country!! i hope you voted today...we went as a family tonight! :)

Always by Kristian Stanfill

blessings, ALo

Dirty 30!

today i am officially 30!! wow!! i was born around 3 am (mom cant remember the exact time) 8 weeks early. mom also likes to point out that i have always been impatient! anyway, so, i love my birthday. like, i love celebrating...not just my birthday, anyone's birthday. this dirty 30 has been awesome so far!

this weekend my little bro, grant, came in from michigan with his friend to start the celebration!! they got in friday morning...and we pretty much went right to chick-fil-a. grant loves chick-fil-a and they dont have them in michigan. i would be so sad without chick-fil-a!! then we came back and i baked all afternoon. i had invited a few close friends to meet us for dinner and then back to our house for a fire and dessert. i know some people think it is strange that i made my own bday desserts, but i liked it. i knew that they would be good and exactly what i wanted. :) i made a boston creme pie, a pumpkin spice cake with carmel glaze, and sugar cookies. dinner was so fun! there were 14 of us. we went to this really cool burger place called "the shack"...thats exactly what it is...a bunch of lean-tos/tents/plywood/etc. the weather was perfect...a little chilly for some of these texans, but perfect for me. (today was not so awesome...it was 89 and humid!!! ugh!) the fire was awesome...little levi LOVED it...the desserts were good, and the company was great!! i am so blessed by the friends that i have made here!

the rest of the weekend went really fast! it was so nice to have grant here! we didnt do much more than sit around, but that was really nice for both of us. it reminded us both of what it was like when the three of us lived together in ohio.

today was good too. i worked today, but it was a good day at work. we have a big event this weekend (that i will have to miss, sad) so we were busy getting things ready for that! my team also took me for lunch at a really awesome bbq place. peter and i were supposed to go to dinner tonight with some friends, but i wasnt feeling very good, so we opted to meet up next week. tonight, we ordered a little chinese food, sat on the couch and did nothing. it was actually pretty nice. our friends jess and griff came over too...just to veg with us. :)

thursday morning i leave for las vegas. I CANT WAIT!!! seriously...dirty 30 fun in sin city!! a little cliche, but so exciting! i am meeting up with my mom, aunt sally, and cousin alex...4 girls, all fun!! we are going to see garth brooks (on his last night in vegas), cirque du soleil's O, lots of sight seeing/window shopping, some real shopping, and frozen hot chocolate at serendipity! be looking for some pics next week!

here are a few from this weekend...i didnt take as many as i wanted to...boo!

Boston Creme Pie, recipe found on pinterest. soooo good!

dessert table with the baker :)

my goofball hubby and me (tiara courtesy of Robin!) at dinner

at the house with Jess and Robin. 

Levi, my little friend, who has more facebook and twitter followers than me! 

Grant and me at Chuy's for lunch Saturday. all grown up! no, we are not twins, but everyone thought we were! 5 years difference, i am older! 

30 years old and 16 weeks prego. love those LOtwins!!

i have been sent so many sweet fb messages, texts, tweets, cards, and presents this year. i have so many people that love me! it may sound cheesy, but my best present this year is my babies. i remember just a few months ago breaking down into tears thinking that i would turn 30 with no hope of a family. i was so upset! God has blessed me with not just one, but two awesome little ones growing inside of me. thinking about celebrating next year with two babies makes me just about giddy! God is is good...

blessings, ALo

October 15th

october is breast cancer awareness month, but it is also pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. specifically, october 15th is the day set aside to remember all the sweet babies we have lost who are waiting for us in Heaven. this was all set up back in 1988 by the awesome (and one of my favorites) president reagan. unfortunately, over the last 24 years, the stats have not gotten much better. 1 in 4 pregnancy end in tragedy. there are still over 2,000 infant deaths/miscarriages each day in the united states alone. so sad...takes my breath away!!

january 8th will always be the day that peter and i set aside to celebrate our sweet charlotte and her short time with us. today, october 15th, i have spent so much time praying for sweet family and friends of mine that i have met personally or through blogging that have all had to said good bye too soon to their sweet babies. some of these people have been such a huge encouragement to me in getting me through the days and weeks since saying good bye to Charlotte. Heaven is going to be such a sweet place of reunion when we all hold our babies again! I CAN NOT WAIT!!!

in special remembrance today for:
my big brother
my niece/nephew that i call Peanut
Jaxton
Lulu
Thatcher
Bean
Christian
Filomena
Caleb
Matthew

i cant wait to meet each of you in Heaven and snuggle you close!

please take a moment to remember the sweet babies in Heaven and say a pray for their parents as they anxiously await their reunion!

i love you, baby girl! cant wait to see you and hold you once again!!

blessings, ALo

WOW

ii am so sorry. i guess my last post did not send correctly after i wrote it. i had written an update after our nuchal test a few weeks backs, but i dint see it anywhere on here! i am sorry if i have left you hanging! since that day, life has been so crazy! like...way to busy! i was still getting very sick, tired from normal pregnancy stuff, plus both of my jobs have been keeping me going more than normal. so, i just havent made the time to sit down and let you know how things are going. i am sure you will forgive me.

maybe you realized that no news is good news. it was! we had great news that monday for the nuchal tests! baby a (who i think is a girl) had a nuchal of 1.4 (remember anything under 3.5mm is normal) and baby b (who i think is a boy) had a nuchal of 1.2!! both were very normal! i am thinking girl and boy based on heart rates that day, but that will not be confirmed for at least two more weeks.

i go this friday, october 12, for a check-up and ultrasound. i cant wait to see the babies again! this week i have started to feel a little better (thankfully!!!) and i am even tolerating sugar a little bit better as of today. i have basically skipped as much sugar as possible because it was making me feel so sick. i am just finishing up my 13th week...hello 2nd trimester! i may have been super nauseous the last several weeks, but i never threw up. so...i am up 8 pounds. i have been told that is still ok, but i am hoping that i can now get back into the gym. hopefully with this trimester my weight will not get out of hand. my belly is definitely starting to show. i am told that it is definitely a pregnant belly...i dont look like i just ate too much or have a beer gut (i dont even drink beer, but still).

life is good. i have made a decision to go from doing hair 3 days a week, to one. i have just been too tired and my house and hubby need me to be more available! i am ready to start preparing things for two babies around here, including my job hours! it would be really helpful if i could sleep through the whole night, but i guess my sleep habits are getting ready for babies too. other than that things have been good. this week the babies are each the size of a large lemon or a clenched fist...getting big!!

here are a few pics from the last few weeks.

eyes closed :( 11wks5days

12wks5days

13wks5days

LOtwin A

LOtwin A profile

LOtwin B

LOtwin B profile

 i already love these kids so much!! we are so blessed...even when i feel a little over whelmed by howlife will change...in the best way possible!! i promise to post new pics as soon as i can after this friday's appointment...hope you are ok with me showing off my beautiful babies! :)

blessings, ALo

Nuchal Translucency Test

if you are somewhat new to my blog, or do not know our story very well, you may have NO idea what that title means. a nuchal translucency test is part of an ultrasound, specifically taken between weeks 11-13 of gestation, to check for certain birth defects. the nuchal fold is on the back of a baby's neck. in a normal test, that nuchal will be 3mm or less. if a baby has a nuchal fold measuring more than 5mm, there is cause of concern for certain birth defects. this is the test that changed our lives almost two years ago. the nuchal translucency test was the first indicator that our sweet Charlotte was very sick.

peter and i got to see our sweet baby for the very first time during this ultrasound. we had actually been delayed a week due to a horrible traffic accident that made us miss our appointment. anyway, we saw Charlotte at 13 weeks on the screen...moving around, heart beating, looking totally normal to our unknowing eyes. we soon found out that not everything was ok. a doctor came in did a few more rush movements of the ultrasound thingy (nice terminology, huh?) and told us that our baby had "a nuchal fold of 15mm, she has severe disabilities". most of you know the rest of the story. if not, here is a link to the main parts.

through our whole pregnancy with Charlotte, i did copious amounts of research. i researched nuchal tests, botched nuchal tests, anything and everything with Turner's syndrome, anything and everything with most chromosome abnormalities, survival rates, how to raise a child with disabilities, EVERYTHING!! i think i drove myself crazy trying to figure everything out. that has led me to probably knowing and worrying about too many things now. i know, according to my doctors and previous ultrasounds, that i should have nothing to worry about with the LOtwins, but that doesnt matter. i know, through my own research and previous experiences, that even when things can look great in the beginning, they do not always end well...they can get worse.

tomorrow, peter and i are going to see our twins again...and they will be having a nuchal translucency test. again, this is not much more than a hi-tech ultrasound. they measure the fluid on the baby's neck, just like when they take their "head to rump" measurements in any ultrasound...click and drag a mouse button. i have been almost fearing this ultrasound, this day, since we were told we were pregnant. i fear that we will be, once again, told that there is more than 3mm of fluid on one of both of the babies. that we will be forced to hear the awful words..."your baby is not quite right".

i know many have been in my shoes. and i know that rarely is someone given bad news more than once. the chances of us ever having a second baby with Turner's syndrome is very near impossible. but i also know that there are chances. there are chances for other abnormailities. i will love my children regardless. i know that each child is made in God's image...that He does not make mistakes. but, i just dont know what will happen tomorrow, and that is what i fear.

just wanted to share a few pics, so you know what i am talking about with an elevated nuchal fold test.

above is a picture that i found on the web that shows a very clear example of both a normal and abnormal nuchal. you can see in the grainy ultrasound picture (abnormal) that there seems to be a bubble behind the neck. it doesnt say how thick this nuchal was, but obviously well above 3mm.

this is Charlotte. in her very first picture! i know that it is hard to see...she is face up, head on the right side, legs on the leg side of the picture. if you look closely, you will see her bubble. in this shot it was measuring at 15mm. i was 13 weeks and 1 day.

this is Charlotte at 15 weeks and 5 days. her second picture. she flipped here. so her head is on the left face up and legs to the right. you can see her nuchal looks more like a part of her...it was. it was growing very rapidly. just two weeks later it was up to 24mm. the fluid was now overtaking her whole body, which is why her torso looks very full...it was and all that fluid was already beginning to shut down other organs in her little body. i am not trying to be gruesome, so gain pity. i am merely showing you how things went for us and for Charlotte. to help those that need it, understand more about this test and what can happen.

i will never forget those days. seeing our baby. knowing she was ours but that there was nothing we could do to help her. the pain is just as real today as it was then. but we also have hope. hope for our two babies growing again inside of me.

please pray with us as we go tomorrow. the appointment is at 1pm. i know that God already has all of this worked out...that we are all in His hands. i am praying for peace for myself and peter, for a worry free night tonight, for healthy LOtwins, and for grace as we interact with people tomorrow that do not know us, Charlotte, or these new babies.

thank you for letting me share more of my Charlotte with you!

blessings, ALo

Susie!

this is an update on my sweet, ohio friend, susie. remember her...i have blogged a few times about her. susie found out she had a brain tumor at the beginning of the year. not only that but she was pregnant! yeah, brain tumor and pregnancy, as if one is not enough to think about without the other. susie had brain surgery while pregnant, had baby annie only a few weeks year (Praise the Lord!!!) took a few weeks off to be with her family and then started a serious journey of radiation. today, susie finished her last radiation treatment!!! i am so excited for her!! she even made time to blog about it today. i can not believe how upbeat she has chosen to be about this whole journey! and while she is not quite finished yet, she is taking time to enjoy life with her friends and family. i love when she will randomly text me about hair stuff, or to say that she is praying for me...really? if i were her, i am not sure that i would be willing to spare any of my prayers on someone else!! honesty, even if you didnt ask for it. susie has been honest too. she has sad that she gets tired. she has lost some of her hair. she doesnt always feel 100%. but what i always hear susie saying is "thank you". in the midst of the most trying time in her life, she has always stopped to be thankful for what God is doing and showing her. its so inspiring!

it is still so crazy that in a matter of a few months, so much has happened in susie's life, and in the lives of those very close to her. we still do not know exactly how all of this will play out, but there is comfort in knowing our Creator and Healer already knows and has a divine plan! please pray with me for susie. for her complete healing from cancer. please pray for her doctors. please pray for her husband, ben, and their four children (simon, talya, charlie, and annie).

i love you, susie!! wish i could be there to celebrate with you! i wish i could be there for a fun girls day of haircuts!! :) (susie told me this week she and her daughter Talya have been waiting for me to come back to cut their hair...i have been gone for a year!! lol!) you are one of the strongest, most optimistic people i have ever met, not to mention one of the most honest, which is my favorite about you! :) i am blessed to know you! cant wait to see how God is going to continue to use you for His Glory!

check out ben and susie's family blog for the most up to date info and how you can help meet their needs! there are some great pics on there too! can you believe that mask she had to wear...yikes!

blessings, ALo

Not Too Shy

i am so tired and need a nap before we go to a high school football game tonight, but i just got home and wanted to share the babies' new pics. they were not too camera shy, and they were really showing off their moves today. they were both all over the place during the ultrasound. they are both growing right on track. baby a had a heart beat of 164 and baby b's was 168...totally normal! i will give a better update tomorrow, but for now here are a few pics.

Baby A. profile shot. you can see the leg bent with the foot farther away too.  

Baby B. straight on shot. the knees are drawn up here. and you can see the little face and arms to the side.

both babies! they are both profile. baby b is on the left facing the left and baby a is on the right facing the right. so they are head butting each other in this picture. i know its hard to see, but this momma can tell :)

more later! have a great friday!!

blessings, ALo

Wake Me Up

i had a horrible dream last night. see, i am one of those people that has several dreams each night and i can wake up and remember them with very specific details. peter thinks its strange since he is the opposite. he knows that he dreams, but can rarely remember much about them when he wakes up. i have tendencies towards bad dreams...it think it is a way that the devil gets a foothold in my life. i must be somehow allowing him to continue, because it keeps happening. i need to pray specifically against bad dreams before i go to bed each night.

i wont give you all the long, drawn out details of the dream. but i have been thinking about it all day, it was that disturbing to me. i just told lisa (through text) about it...she probably thinks i am crazy. and i just told peter about the whole thing as i was telling lisa...he knows that i am crazy. i even started crying again retelling it because it just seemed so real and i could not stop it. i dreamt that i went into labor with the LOtwins, which turned out to be 2 boys (give me a few weeks for the real reveal). apparently, something went wrong during delivery because the next thing i knew i had been put completely under and woke up in some strange recovery house across from the hospital. i couldnt understand why i didnt have my boys there with me, so i quickly headed over to the hospital. when i got there i was told that i could not see them because they were very sick and were being "worked on". i fought and cried and screamed and still no one would help me. then peter walked around the corner with bill's donuts (my fav. place in ohio...must be having a craving in my sleep) and i asked why the heck he was not with the boys. he said "they wont let us in and i knew you would be hungry!" (i had bill's donuts just after Charlotte was born too). i said: no, no, no...we have to go in there, they need us...i dont care about donuts, i just want my babies. he said: i know but we cant. we will just have to wait and see, but there are no promises, here eat the sprinkled one, its your favorite. i looked at him in horror then i was screaming and crying. finally, peter woke me up. crazy!! i was sweating so badly! i was terrified. i rarely let myself think about the "what ifs", but apparently my dreams remind me that there is still a possibility of things not going well again. i am not writing all of this to sound crazy, or anything else...just telling you how i am processing some things still. i told peter that i know i am crazy, but i am honest in talking about my fears and concerns and everything else...like any normal person who has been in my shoes has had.

in our prayers together at night, peter and i have begun praying for our children...that they will grow up to be Godly, faithful followers of Jesus. that they will be healthy and strong and smart (and some athletic drive would be nice) :) we prayed for their spouses the other night, that they too would be followers of Jesus and be a perfect mate for our child. we have also prayed that things like my nausea would not be too bad, or that i would wake up without the headache i go to bed with. tonight we will be adding that my dreams will be pleasant, not disturbing emotional roller coasters from the devil! hopefully last night will be the last one! ugh...

in other news...i go for my next appointment and ultrasound the end of the week. be looking for new baby pics on friday!

blessings, ALo

That Sounds Good

so...i have been super sick the last two weeks. not throwing up...just nauseated all day long. yep! it was happening just in the afternoons, but lately it has been all day. the only thing that helps is eating. if i keep things in my system i feel so much better! i am not a fan of sweets (so crazy), they just make me feel much worse. every once in a while something sweet sounds good, but not very often. here is a list of things that i have been craving...some i have indulged, some i have not (for healthy reasons!!) pickles, chicken and dumplings from cracker barrel, oreos, milk (lots of milk), lemon water, nachos, tortilla soup, triscuits, mint chocolate chip ice cream...i think that is about it. so...lots of "salty" things and a few others. i have been trying to not load up on sodium and fat rich foods, but sometimes that is all that sounds good, so i have had some things in moderation. one of my college roommates just had twins this year and she has been a huge help! she stayed away from pretty much ALL sodium (think about how hard that is), but she went to 39 weeks with her twins and gained a "normal" amount of weight. she had over 14 pounds of baby at delivery!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!! but her babies were/are very healthy, so i am trying to take her advise. one of the strangest cravings i have had is the mint chocolate chip ice cream. i can not think of a time in my life where i have ever ordered or "had to have" that flavor of ice cream. today i even went in and brushed my teeth to see if it went away, but it didnt. so...i drove to kroger :) and, it was on sale!!! 2/$4, so i bought 4 of those small blue bell pint containers...mint chocolate chip, peach cobbler, homemade vanilla, and pistachio almond. peter said he will GLADLY help me! i hope he is serious!!!

even with the crazy food cravings, i have done pretty well with my weight gain and have been going to the gym when i can wake up in the mornings! i have worried about weight gain, especially after learning of twins! i worked so hard to take off just over 40 pounds since january, and thinking about putting that much on with twins makes my heart race just a little (sometimes a lot). i know that by doing the work before hand and continuing to work out, i will be ahead going into both delivery and recovery. right now i am up 4 pound and i am almost 9 weeks. according to the twins websites and books i am reading, it is totally normal to gain anywhere from 10-12 pounds the first trimester. with fraternal twins, i have double everything...placenta, sacs, blood, water, etc. so, i feel ok with four pounds...now to keep it there for now!

i have started to back off of some of my home hair. i am no longer taking new clients and i am being very restrictive about the times that i am doing hair. i just get so tired by the end of the day at church and then standing on my feet for a few hours does not help me or my sickness issues. so, if i have told you no, please understand! give me a few months/a year and i will be back to normal hair hours! :)

peter and i have had several little conversations about things that will be different once the babies are here (getting ready for church, grocery shopping, going out to eat, etc.) but we could not be more excited!! peter, being the man of my dreams that he is, has already started doing more around the house, offers to help with "my chores", understands when i say "i just need to rest of a sec." and truly wants to know all about the development of our babies and what is going on with my body. he is the best ever, i am SOOOOOO blessed!! last week the LOtwins got their daddy a little card and a treat (his fav. candy, also perfect for twins). they wanted to say "thanks for making us, dad". he beamed when he opened the card with their pics..its was priceless!!

my next appointment is sept. 14th. i will have an ultrasound, physical exam, and talk about the financial stuff with the office manager. thrilling!! lol. hopefully, we will still see two healthy heartbeats! i still get some anxiety about that...please pray God continues to give me peace when those thoughts creep in! thanks so much to all those who have sent messages, comments, love, prayers, encouragement, and advice. it is all more than appreciated! i know you all already love our LOtwins too! :)

blessings, ALo

First Pictures!

here are the first pics...

Baby A AND Baby B!!! holy smokes!! today was awesome! the ultrasound tech quickly found BOTH babies and their heart beats. yes, we got to see and hear both of their little hearts beating. what a joy that was for us again! i of course started crying! that sound has got to be one of the best sounds ever!! then to hear two... so amazing!! they are measuring great, everything else looks great...just a great day!! because we are having more than one, this pregnancy is considered high risk, so i will go every two weeks for an ultrasound and check up. more pictures will be so great! :)

peter and i are beyond thrilled! we are so blessed and grateful that God is choosing us to be parents again, especially to two little ones. please pray for healthy, normal growth for both babies. that is all i care about now!! please pray for all four of us!!

ahhhhh...TWINS!!! so awesome!

we are blessed!

blessings, ALo

New Stuff

i know that so many of you have been asking how i am doing, how i am feeling, etc. part of me feels bad talking about my pregnancy...being excited. i mean, we are...we are so excited. but i remember what it was like for those so many months when all people could talk about was their pregnancy and how horrible some of it was, how awesome parts were, etc. i know that if you have been following my blog, you understand/know that this has been an emotional roller coaster almost 2 years for us. while i will never purposefully complain on facebook or twitter or even here in my blog, i know that so many of you are genuinely praying for us and just want to be excited with us. so...here is a little update. please do not read this if you are in a place that you are unable to read about my pregnancy. i totally understand that and do not blame you at all!

today (8/21/12) we are 6 weeks and 6 days. wednesday is my new week day...meaning every wednesday i up a week :) 7 weeks tomorrow. i had been doing pretty good about "ralphing" until the last two days. before monday, i had only been sick once, but suffered constant nausea after 3pm. this week it has become an all day battle...me versus nausea...the last two days i have not always won. i also have pretty horrid acid reflux. last night i was up at 3am ralphing because of the reflux. but, all of this is fine by me. i may not look that great, but i am fine. pictures with my besties from atlanta this weekend could be interesting! :) i have been pretty tired in the afternoons. i am trying to go to the gym as often as i can...depending on my morning nausea. so, days that i do get into the gym, i definitely need a nap by about 4 pm. i remember getting pretty horrid headaches when i was really tired when i was pregnant with Charlotte. thankfully, i have not had many of those...just one. thats it...things are good/normal as far as i can tell...as normal as pregnancies go.

this friday we have our first ultrasound. i have had so many of you tell me you have the "twin feeling". my grandma even said, "i hope you are having twins...i am not close enough to be up with you all night long" lol. thanks grandma! but, we will find out friday how any are in there! at this point, because so many have said we are having twins, i would not be totally shocked...still surprised, but not shocked. as long as we can walk away knowing that our child is growing safely and healthy, i will be so excited!! so, be on the look out for baby's first picture on friday evening! :)

thanks so much for all the support, love, encouragement, and prayers. i know i have been off the grid...just to make you feel better, there has not been too many new things happening here. :) just keep praying for our little one to grow big and strong like his/her daddy! :)

please also be praying for a new friend that i have meet. "B" and her husband have been trying for a family of their own for several years. they have tried IUI a few times with no success. they are praying for guidance and direction from God as to what to do next. please pray with me that God would make that path very clear! please pray with me that God would open her womb and that she would become pregnant!! i cant wait to report back to you very soon that our prayers have been answered!

blessings, ALo

God's Grace

i had the first of many doctor's appointments for this little baby on monday. it was a "confirmation appointment". just meant that i had to pee on one of their test sticks and have some blood work and an "exam". i was only told it would be the urination test part, so the rest was a surprise...i should have shaved my legs! sorry, nurse patty! lol. anyway...i am definitely pregnant! so exciting! patty (the nurse practitioner) said that i should stay on the metaformin (blood sugar pill) to help with my nausea and the progesterone to help since i dont produce as much as i should. they switched me over from the oral progesterone to the "non-oral". when i went to pick up the Rx, it was going to be $587 per month! uh...for real?? i mean if that is the only choice, it will be worth it, but there are other options...lets try that first! i have left a few messages to have the new Rx that patty said would be manageable financially. hopefully they call me soon...i dont like not taking a medicine that will help my little growing baby! today i am exactly 5 weeks along. we will get our first look at our little one in just over 2 weeks. friday, august 24th at 2:15. my awesome friends from atlanta will be here too...they will get to meet our little sweet when we do. :) so, things are good. i am feeling good...only nauseous when i eat sweets (rough, huh?!!?? oh well!). we are praying for good, healthy growth. we are also praying that God calms our nerves as we continue in this pregnancy. after our journey with Charlotte, we cant help but be a little nervous/anxious/think the worst.

our high school worship band played this song tonight in worship and it hit me right where i needed it. an awesome reminder!! hope you enjoy it!! i really wish you could all hear my friend, amos, sing this song. he and the band were so awesome tonight! i am so blessed by them each week! "to testify of your wonder and grace forever! there is none beside You God!! i live my life to shine your light!" here is a link for all the lyrics.

Rhythms of Grace by hillsong (aftermath album)

ps. we need a nickname for our sweet baby...any ideas? we called Charlotte "babyLo" until we named her :)

blessings, ALo

Susie

i have written a few times about my friend, susie, and her journey over the last 8 months. susie and ben had baby annie a few weeks ago. both baby and mom did so great! now, today is the day that susie starts her radiation and chemo. this is going to be a hard road for susie and also for her family. please, be praying for them! they post a lot of specific prayer requests, so please be checking their blog for updates. i really wish i could be there to help...at least give sus a really awesome haircut!

please pray that the treatments work. please pray that the side effects are minimal. please just pray for these sweet friends of mine!!

http://www.benandsusiethomas.com/

blessings, ALo

Try these!

i am sitting on the couch, watching the olympics...loving life. i am still so excited! not sure that feeling will go away for a long time! :)

i realized that i never delivered on my promise to give a few recipes that we have loved lately. over the last few weeks, i have done a TON of baking and some cooking. i love the feeling of baking for people. i have gotten much better at it over the years...it has become quite a little hobby for me. pinterest and food blogs only feed that hobby...much to the delight of people here around me! so, rather than re-typing out all the recipes, i am just going to add a picture. that picture will link you to the website with the recipe. enjoy!!

Chicken Enchilada Pasta

this is by far one of the most delicious. flavorful, and EASY recipes ever!! i use a rotisserie chicken (almost the whole thing, sans skin, because we like lots of chicken). we do a toppings bar with avocado, cheese, green onion, tomatoes, black olives, and sour cream. try it...you will love it and me for sharing!! :)

Pineapple Crockpot Chicken

this is another really easy meal! if you have a crock pot, try this! i love this blog...they have several great things there. i use this meal a lot for new moms or company. just 3 ingredients, plus a side of white rice and steamed broccoli...easy! its even better with a little bit of red pepper flakes. 

now for a few desserts...the good stuff!
i made three different kinds of cookies for a wedding last week...they were all good, and there were not any left. guess they were a hit!

Strawberry Cake Mix Cookies very fluffy

White Chocolate Chip Orange Cookies my favs

Glazed Lemon Cookies these are great too

now for the grande finale... you have to make this..tomorrow!! for real...do it! i actually used two recipes, because i wanted a bundt cake, not cupcakes (shocked!), but wanted the icing from the cupcake recipe. so..here are two links plus the pic of first time i made this...yes i made this twice in one week! :) but to my defense, the first time i didnt eat any and the second time i had one piece...plus i am eating for two! lol.

Brown Sugar Pound Cake

Brown Butter Glaze/Icing

this was the first one i made, for christina

 ENJOY!!!

blessings, ALo