Anticipation

i am so used to anticipating things so that i am not taken by surprise, but lately i have been trying not to anticipate, trying not to plan or look too far ahead. i have found that the things that i anticipate are the things that are hard for me (ie. speaking at the church, due date, fathers day, "angelversary", etc.) today i went to a baby shower. up to this point (since we said good-bye to charlotte) i have avoided them, some on purpose, others by chance. the shower today was for a close friend of mine in my bible study. ashley is due the end of may with her first baby girl. ash's due date is two weeks after what mine is/was supposed to be. this shower should have been a joint shower for both us of, for both of our baby girls. instead of going to receive, i went bearing cupcakes and a gift for baby bev (a nickname until she is born). because ash and i are close friends and because of the timing of everything, i have been anticipating that the shower would be hard for me to get through. i have been very open and honest with ash and the other girls in my bible study and they were all understanding and prepared for me to leave early if needed. but thankfully, not because of any thing i did, i felt ok staying. i had been praying all day that God would allow me to get over myself and be excited for my friend. yes, i gave into a few moments of selfish sadness today, but i did not experience most of what i had anticipated to. i am so blessed to have so many people praying for me as i continue on this journey of grief. i am praying that i will work hard on not anticipating things to be bad all the time. i am praying that God helps me keep my anxiety at bay. these are ways that you can pray for me too. again, thank you to all who continue to encourage and support me and peter. i wish i could put into words how much we both appreciate all of it!

in case you are wondering..i make awesome desserts, even if i do say so myself! today i tried my hand at some new decorating but used simple, classic flavors for the cakes and frostings. so here are a few pics of the cupcakes i made...owl and bird theme. sour cream cupcakes with cream cheese frosting (made from scratch!)

cute, huh? i had a lot of fun with my friend sandi making these...they took us a while, but everyone loved them, so it was worth it! i will have to add a pic later of the "project" that i have been working on for the last 9 weeks for ash's nursery...her gift. its awesome and frustratingly slow all at the same time :)

wanted to end with the card that my friend morgan gave me today. i have seen this card before, but it was so sweet of mobaby (another bible study pal) to get it for me for today! i am so blessed!

"Life really isn't fair sometimes. But the good news is that you will get through this. You've got the inner strength and determination to get through anything." inside "And if you ever feel like you have to be reminded of that, just let me know. I'll tell you as many times as you need to hear it."

blessings, ALo