the new year

usually when the new year rolls around, i am excited and ready to make resolutions (which never last past february!) and peter and i think about all the things we want to get accomplished. this year, as i was sitting in the glorious sunshine on marco island, florida, i couldnt help thinking about the year ahead. i am soooo blessed to have the most supportive family, immediate and extended...biological and in-laws! i know that everyone of them is sending up so many prayers for us and for our baby. we are also blessed beyond most people can imagine to have 100's of others praying for us, friends, friends of friends, and plenty of strangers. THANK YOU!!! i cant go anywhere without someone stopping me and telling me how much they are thinking of us and would love to do anything for us. i wish i could tell someone what to do to help us. i wish there was something i could do to help us, but knowing that others care so much and are being so supportive is GREATLY appreciated. going back to new years, i keep thinking about how right now, peter and i live in two week increments...based on the frequency of doctors appointments. i am not sure if that is how i am supposed to live, but i dont know what else to do. i dont like living that way, but sometimes it is very hard for me to see much past all of this. i am trying very hard to give up my fears and anxiety...that is my resolution. i know that God is in control; i know that He  has us in His hands, guiding us where He wants us; and i know that He has an awesome plan for me and for peter and for our family. my problem is that sometimes knowing all of those things do not make it any easier. i want to be in control, i want to know whats going to happen, i want to...ugh...i guess this is me being human. i am trying though. today i was thinking about everything (after a surprise lunch date with peter!!!) and a song came on the radio. several years ago Potter's Hands by Hillsong was very popular and i liked it alot, but today when i heard it i had to stop and listen all over again. this is how i want to be this year...molded and shaped by God. of course i want to have my baby in may and be able to bring her home, but i understand that may not happen. regardless, i want to have a passionate, fearless relationship with our Creator. 

i hope that this song brings you peace (like it did me), knowing that God is totally in control!!

blessings, ALo