No Title

i dont want to try to come up with a title for this one. i am not even sure what to say....well, i always have something to say, just dont know how to say it! :)

Charlotte Jean, my sweet baby, will be buried on May 22nd. peter and i got an invitation to the burial ceremony last week. we had already talked about whether or not we would go...leaning more towards no. yes, i do share some things publicly (duh, i have a blog!), but i am not stoked about burying my baby with 31 other families that i do not know. when i talked with the chaplain last week, she said there is no way of knowing how many families invited would come. this may sound stupid, but my other hang up is that not only do i not want to be there with 31 other sets of parents, i really dont want to be around other people's kids when we have to bury our baby. no offense, but i dont want the reminder on top of it all. call me crazy! so there is all of that, but in addition, the 22nd is when peter and i are flying back from houston. yes, we could probably make it back from columbus to the dayton cemetery in time, but it pretty much just solidifies that i dont want to be there...partly denial and avoidance, partly knowing that Charlotte will not actually "be there" (we were told there will be nothing left after cremation). so...nope, dont really want to go.

however, for weeks i have been planning a celebration at our house for us and our close friends. next wednesday, may 18th is our due date for little miss charlotte. while this will probably be the only year we "celebrate" that day, i wanted to do something nice in the spring for my baby. back in january when we met and said goodbye to Charlotte the weather was so nasty...i have been thinking since then that this may would be a good time to celebrate her short life with friends and family. so, here is your invitation to celebrate Charlotte Jean with us. i know that most of you do not live close enough to be here in person, dont worry!

Please join us for a celebration and balloon release!
Wednesday, 5/18/11 at 7pm
@our house - 757 ash ct. jamestown, oh (ask if you need directions)
We will be releasing balloons at 7:15pm, cupcakes to follow!
please let me know if you are coming so that i have enough dessert!

peter and i will be releasing 22 balloons (one for each week we were pregnant with Charlotte). i will write little messages on some and my blog address on some. for those of you actually coming to my house, please come with your own balloons if you want to release any. there will be a few minutes to write messages if you want. for those of you not able to come to our house, i would love for you to join us right where you are. just grab a helium filled balloon, write a message, and set it off at 7:15 pm. i will be adding pictures of our balloon release, so if you do it at your house, just take a picture and email it to me...i will add it to the page!!! i would love to see balloons all over go up in celebration of Charlotte's life! if you have any questions just let me know! my email address is asloeser@gmail.com

i think it goes without saying, but i would rather be sitting at home taking care of my baby than releasing balloons. i would rather be planning a summer grill out just for fun than this. i would rather be doing just about anything else. well, maybe Jesus will come back before next wednesday then i can have a real party to celebrate Charlotte...with her!!!

i just finished the book, Choosing to See, by mary beth chapman (wife of steven curtis chapman). the chapmans lost a daughter in a horrible car accident a few years back. as a result of the accident, steven wrote the song Heaven is the Face...here is the video...something that i really like right now.

blessings, ALo