My Mom!

there are not enough words to express my appreciation for my mom. today is mother's day...im sad that i didnt get to spend it with my mom celebrating her. i did call her, and i think she knows how much i love her, even if i am not always sure of the right way to show her. over the last few months, my mom has been one of the first people that i call/go to when i am feeling down/jealous/angry, etc. my mom...who is one of the strongest people i know...understands what i am feeling first hand. my mom (and dad of course) lost her first baby due to stillbirth at 25 weeks (or so, back then they didnt count by weeks) and a miscarriage between my two brothers. mom and i never really talked about her baby loss journey until recently. i always knew that mom had a baby boy before me, but that was really it. now knowing what this feels like, i catch myself thinking about my mom so differently. i know that i did not always make things easy for her, so dealing with my sass along with grieving for a baby was probably pretty hard at times, but she never made me feel anything other than loved.

i called mom on friday morning. i was struggling with some of my own jealous thoughts and self pity and pretty much started sobbing on the phone. to say that neither one of us deals with emotion very well is an understatement. but instead of hurrying to hang up, my mom told me that she loved me, that what i felt was normal, that things will work out even when it doesnt seem like it. i sat there and cried and she cried with me. i have needed my mom a lot the last four months and she is always right there.

mother's days was a day that i was dreading. i am a mom, but it is hard to celebrate. i am so thankful to everyone that sent me text messages, emails, facebook posts and cards loving me as Charlotte Jean's mom. i have been a little sad off and on today, but i tried to be thankful for all that God has given me...especially my mom!!

i bet Charlotte and her uncle, my sweet older brother, are up in Heaven playing together and laughin it up! it will be so awesome when my mom, who is the best mom ever, gets to meet her two angel babies and her angel grandbaby...we are all so blessed to have her!!

i gave this song to my mom on a mixed cd years ago and i still love it!! :) taking it old school with backstreet boys!

look how happy my mom is here! watching me play dress up!

playing dress up again a few years later...a little more serious this time!

i love you, mom! thanks for being there for me, especially when it was probably not always easy for you! thanks for doing "real life" with me the past few months as both my mom and my friend!! :) i hope that i can be as strong and faithful as you!!

Ezekiel 16:44 "Everyone who quotes proverbs will quote this proverb about you, 'Like mother, like daughter'."

blessings, ALo