How Many in the Jar?

wow, what a day. the first thing i want to say is another BIG thank you for all the messages, texts, emails, calls, and cards. i feel so loved and supported. i loved hearing from so many people that they were praying for me and for peter and for our soon to be expanding family. thanks so much!!

i am currently sitting on the couch just relaxing. i feel a little crampy, but they told me to expect that. nothing too serious, just that uncomfortable feeling. i am also spotting a little due to the slight cervix dilation needed to do the IUI. my cervix was still dilated from earlier this month, but something about doing more to keep the tube straight while doing the actual turkey basting. the spotting should stop tonight. if i see more spotting later this week i am supposed to call right away. there is a higher chance of ectopic pregnancies with IUIs, so we are on the lookout for anything abnormal. the IUI equally increases our chances of multiples...oh my! we knew that going in, but it is kinda crazy to think about!! i was told yesterday that dr. todd thought there were four good follicles before the hcg injection. who knows how many will release to be fertilized, but again...that is more than one! we wont know until much later if we have multiples. peter did awesome today! his numbers were SUPER high. after the wash down, there were 90 million little guys left to inject...90 million!! for real??!!?? i know that it only takes one, so that is why the number seems so crazy to me. the specialist said that this was higher than most. goes to show, this is mostly about me and my issues.

even with that, i left today excited. i am sitting here, thinking about it all and i am super excited! based on the way the doctors and nurses were talking and responding, they were excited and encouraged too. that helped a lot with my anxiety. everyone seemed so excited for us! of course, the cupcakes probably helped! :) i ended up taking 40ish to the doctor's office and about 15 got picked up by my sweet co-worker, rachel, for the rest of my co-workers. i dropped the cupcakes off in our doctor's office before we picked up the "boys" upstairs. when we went back, everyone told us how awesome the cupcakes were and they were so thankful to have had them. guess that gives me an in for special treatment! :)

after the IUI, we waited for about 35 min, listening to worship music and praying. it was pretty emotional for me and i am soooooo thankful that peter was there. he was able to take a personal day today to be with me. it has been awesome. while i was laying there, i thought so much about Charlotte. i thought about all that God has done for our family. i prayed about all that He still has planned for us. it was all a bit overwhelming and i teared up. but the worship music was so great and helped calm me down along with praying! i am so glad that we prepared in advance to do that. i have mentioned that i wanted to be a witness to the nurses and doctors at the office, so the worship music during the whole procedure was, hopefully, awesome for them too...for them to see who we are. we are teaching our high schoolers about being the salt and light of the world, so i am praying that while telling them and i am also showing them (and others).

so, here i am on the couch. i am disappointed that i missed out on the high school service tonight, but i am so excited that i am home to relax after our conception day! :) we wont know anything for about a week and a half, but we are going to continue to be excited about what God has for us...a baby!!

here are a few pics from today:

awesome tortilla soup for lunch. FULL of veggies and so good! plus lunch w/ hubby!

conception day celebration cupcake

homemade almond funfetti w/ buttercream and glitter sprinkles

mostly finished, just a few not frosted. 

if anyone wants the play list that we had for today...we called it "waiting worship", i can make that available. we use spotify, so its super easy!!

Psalm 113:9 He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!


Psalm 139:13-16  For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.


blessings, ALo

Left side, Strong Side

today was a good day. the worst part was the wait before the appointment, but i totally felt the prayers, encouragement, and support from so many people. thanks!!

my ultrasound showed several good follicles on my left side. they didnt see any on the right side, but i dont know if that is normal or abnormal since my left side was so good. either way, because we had some good ones, i got the hcg injection. actually, it was two shots because there is so much hormone to administer...it doesnt all fit in one syringe! so my love handles are feeling a little tender. the upside to having love handles is that i didnt feel them administering the shots! :) i have more than an inch to pinch. but please look at this picture. this is the box that my shot came in...check out the name of the medicine...

is that a joke? you just shot me up with gonads???!!!??? oh my word! dr. todd tried to reassure me that this was not the full name...apparently it didnt all fit on the label. but why would they abbreviate the last word and not the first word? i am confused. i am already more man than woman...this makes me nervous!! it did bring a few laughs, which was awesome!

tomorrow we are all set and scheduled to go ahead with the IUI. peter and i have to be there at 9am. peter will have to give his sample, we will wait anywhere from 45 min to an hour and half for it to get "washed down", then we will go see dr. todd and i will get turkey basted. we will then wait 30 minutes or so. hopefully we will be home by noon, but that is me being optimistic! :) either way...this could be the day we get pregnant again!!! the beginning of a dream come true for us. we are already celebrating...believing it will happen! i have made 60 cupcakes! some for the nurses and doctors tomorrow and some for our friends that are bringing lunch when we get home. they are not frosted yet, so i will show you a picture tomorrow. i made almond funfetti from scratch! i also bought really cute liners...everything is bright, fun, celebratory!

speaking of cupcakes...another awesome moment at the doctors office today...my nurse said i looked smaller than when i was there 10 days ago, so she thought i should weigh in. i was so glad that she noticed how hard i have been working!! i was down just over 5 pounds! i weigh 15 pounds less than i did when i got pregnant with Charlotte, and i weigh 7 pounds less than i did when i got married! i guess that is good motivation not to sample too many of my baking creations and keep doing the shakes and work outs!! getting ready to be pregnant!!!

so, my prayer for tomorrow is simple. Lord, open my womb! Lord, allow us to conceive a healthy baby!

Romans 5:13 May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace in your faith; that by the power of the Holy Spirit, your whole life and outlook may be radiant with hope.

blessings, ALo

Worship Always

this is a big week for peter and me. on tuesday we have the follicle search and hcg injection. wednesday (depending on tuesday's finds) we will do an IUI. this past week my thoughts have been a little bit all over for the place. i think part of it had to do with doubling one of my hormones. the other side is knowing that this is the end of the infertility treatments for us. we are not giving up, but we do not want to do more than IUIs. we will be able to do more than one month if needed, but we do not feel that IVF is a good option for us and that is the next step. there are emotions there. i dont like to get discouraged, but sometimes it is hard not to. it has been 19 months so far and over 6 months of treatments. the thought of IUI is also hard for me because it seems peter and i are taken out of the equation so much. i know that God has given us the knowledge to have scientific advances and doctors and all of that. but this is not how we thought we would conceive a child...in a doctors office. but, life is often not how we think it is going to be. anytime i felt the emotions coming on, i tried to stop and be thankful for one of the many other blessings that God has given me. i have also been praying a lot this month, that we would give God all the glory in this journey. that we would be able to worship Him in and through it all.

on wednesday when we have the IUI, i will have to lay there for about 30 minutes. i am planning on making a playlist of worship songs to focus on. prayer and worship will make that wait so much better. i have a few songs on my list, but if you have suggestions for me...i will be all ears!

this week, i am praying that i have good follicles. that my body will respond to the treatments that i am on plus the injection tuesday. i am praying for a great wednesday...nerves, body responses, an open womb, and CONCEPTION!! praying i no longer have a hostile environment for a baby!! praying i can encourage others this week that are facing the next step of their journey as i face mine.

blessings, ALo

ps. i had thought about taking cupcakes to the doctors office on wednesday...happy conception day cupcakes (just believing it will happen)!! peter thinks i am crazy...i mean, i know i am, but i think it would be cute/fun/appreciated. thoughts??

Am I Normal?

i have serious problems...a few of them!

1. my room looks like a tornado went through it. yep, its that bad! while my closet is clean, my bedroom floor is COVERED in clean clothes. i still have a suitcase from camp on the floor, half full of clean clothes. why can i not take care of my stuff? i just rifle through the piles to find what i want to wear. there are never dirty clothes there, just clean ones. i really need to get a handle on that. more for the sanity of my husband, but also for my pride when someone walks in there.

2. i only have 2 sports bras that fit me/are not falling apart right now. i am back on a gym kick, so only having two puts a serious damper on me...i usually only do laundry twice a week. now, i have to do it every other day. does anyone have any good suggestions for good, supportive, high quality sports bras for a girl with more than my share? yes, i would gladly share/give them up, but since we cant really do that, i need a help so that i dont knock myself out while working out!

3. i am not good at saying no. i have written several posts about that. i have been really trying, but still really struggle. today i said no. it was not super hard to do, which was nice. it was also not something that put anyone out in any big way, but it still felt good. i am often outspoken and bossy and pretend to have a hard exterior, but i hate to disappoint people..to a fault and much to my husband's chagrin. i am still workin on it!

4. i have been crying at the drop of a hat this week. i have no idea why!! during movies, during tv shows, during normal conversations, etc. i have cried several times over good stuff this week and i have cried over stupid stuff this week!! holy hormones!! thankfully, nothing sad this week! just crazy lady crying! :) my poor friends, family and peter! so glad everyone is supportive! they are probably going to need a support group with each other to deal with me...lol!

guess those are my random thoughts for today. enjoy! :)

blessings, ALo

Not Expected

i know that some of you saw my tweet/status yesterday...thanks for praying!! if not, i tweeted that i was not feeling that great after my procedure. yesterday i was dilated again. i am not sure if i was in more pain because they dilated me more this time or what, but i was pretty miserable yesterday. i would start sweating from the pain...not that it takes much to make me sweat! i really was not expecting to be in soooo much pain! it seemed like this procedure was a lot longer and more involved than the first time. dr. todd did warn me though...he said he was going to dilate me more than last time in preparation for the next step. today i am feeling better. the cramps are still intense, but less frequent! i know that this is all part of the process, so its all good! the next step is a follicle search (ultrasound looking for good eggs) and an hcg injection followed by an IUI. if there is a good follicle on the 17th then we will go back the 18th for the IUI. dr. todd also upped my dosage of serephene for this month. we are praying this is it! :)

on another note...we went to a really fun 4th of july party with some friends from church. i decided to make a few things to take with us, one of which was a red, white, and blue almond sour cream cake. i found the recipe on pinterest. i was surprised that it turned out so well. i cant wait to make it again! it would be a really cute ombre cake! if you decide to make it, there should be about 2 cups of batter per layer :) the taste was sooooo good and it starts with a cake mix!! below is the recipe for my favorite buttercream frosting. i use it for just about everything!! this week i am going to make my friend kristy this banana pudding poke cake! :)

this was my cake after a few slices...there wasnt any left after about 30 min!! 

white buttercream frosting:
1/2 c. shortening
1/2 c. butter softened
1 teas. clear vanilla (clear keeps it very white, but you can use regular)
4 c. powdered sugar (approx. 1 lb.)
2-4 tbls. milk (depends on how you like the consistency)

enjoy!!

blessings, ALo

Pick One

i have been a garth brooks fan since i was in about middle school. garth is one of those artists that has so many awesome songs that i cant pick my favorite song...depends on the day, sometimes the situation or who i am with. i will always remember my mom and i jammin and singing at the top of our lungs during car rides. her favorite might be "beer run"...lol!! i also have a friend that said "the thunder rolls" is a scary song. we were on our way to see miranda lambert and garth came on whatever we were listening to. she was singing along and messing up a few words, but about half way through she said "this is a really scary song"...our whole car of girls cracked up. :)

i have about 16 weeks to come up with a favorite, or at least learn every word to every one of his songs. in 16 weeks i get to see garth in concert...in LAS VEGAS!!!!! ahhhhhhhh!!! pure excitement!!! in 16 weeks i turn 30...the dirty 30! my mom and i decided this would be a fantastic "reason" to head out to vegas to meet garth. so, on october 27th my mom and aunt sally, my cousin alex and i will be there...dressed in cowgirl boots, singing along, and loving every minute of it.

this is my first visit to vegas. the concert is at the wynn, but we are still deciding on where to stay. if you have any suggestions, let me know! :)

i wish i could really show you how excited i am...this is seriously going to be one of the best birthday presents ever!!! thanks, mom! cant wait to see you, garth brooks!!!

do you have a favorite garth song??

blessings, ALo

ps. my goal is to loose my last 25 pounds before we get there. that will put me at my goal weight. this trip will be a HUGE incentive!

A Few Tears

i let myself have a few tears today. not many...just a couple. i sucked it up to be there and be supportive and encouraging to our students today. but this morning, i let a few out.

this week i had a few crazy health things...i guess i can give details...what do i not share? so, the last day of camp i got hemorrhoids. not fun! with all of the meds and prenatal i am on, i have issues being able to go to the bathroom, therefore, i got hemorrhoids. the monday after camp (this last monday) i tweaked my back...getting a pedicure. yep. no joke. i have back issues (herniated and bulging L5 S1) and i just happened to turn the wrong way and pull it out. while still sore on thursday, i realized i had a yeast infection. chalk it up to being in a bathing suit for about 3 weeks straight, and the humidity here in houston, my doctor was not at all surprised!

because of the infection, we took an early pregnancy test. the results were negative. at first, i just said, "ok, get me some meds...this is not cool". this morning, after not sleeping well (i forgot to turn our overhead fan on), i got up at 6am to read. i decided to take another test hoping the previous test was wrong. same result. i let a few tears leak out.

each month, with each negative test result, i feel like i grieve just a bit. i get sad. we so badly want a child and we know that God is going to bless that one day. each month i think it will happen. i grieve when it doesnt. my jealousy level has (thankfully) been lower lately. i think a lot of that has to do with knowing that God hears us and that i am trying not to look too far ahead. (see this post) but as i was in the shower, i let a few tears fall thinking about some of my close friends getting so close to delivering.

my sweet friend, lisa, is more than due with baby jenna. jenna's due date was june 25!! lol!! i have always been so excited for lisa and josh through this whole pregnancy, and i cant wait to meet baby jenna. this morning in the shower i started thinking about how, from the beginning of lisa's pregnancy (even before) lisa and i kept saying "it will happen this month and our babies will be best friends". when she got pregnant, we had already been trying for about 7 months. now she is due and i am still not pregnant. i was a little jealous and let a few tears stream.

we are now passing 18 months of trying and this morning i just got a little overwhelmed. but like i said, i sucked it up and moved on. i thanked God for all that He has blessed us with over the last 18 months (new jobs, new house, more friends, and an awesome church) and for how much He has taught us. at church, i wrote a prayer request: please pray for the two minor "surgeries" that we have this month in our journey of infertility. please pray that God will encourage us and open our womb to the child that He has for us. please pray that we can be an encouragement to others as we go through this process.

the end of this week, i will go in for another dilation. then the middle of the month, we will most likely do an IUI.

we sang this song today in worship. great reminder for me!!! i also love the line "here in your presence, heaven and earth become one." made me think of Charlotte singing with me...both in the presence of God, doing what we were both created to do...worship GOD!!!!

here in your presence by new life worship

i started this day with a few tears, but i am ending it with a sense of contentment mixed with excitement and longing for His blessing. please pray with us this month as we continue. we know that God has us right where He wants us, but that does not always mean its a comfortable place. that just means we are growing! 

please be praying for jenna's big arrival any day. please be praying for my sweet, texas friend and co-worker, justine, who is due this week with her first baby, also a girl! please pray lisa and justine both have great experiences! please be praying for lisa, as i can imagine, she will be missing jaxton being there. many of the same people that were there with jaxton will be there with jenna! i wish i could be there with her!!! love you, friends!! 

blessings, ALo