Whirlwind

i feel like we have been on a whirlwind the last few weeks! right now, i am sitting on the love seat in my hubby's old bed room in plainfield, nj! last friday we flew from houston to atlanta to pittsburg, pa. we spent 4 days in washington, pa. visiting peter's mom and her family there. i was hoping that the travel would be uneventful, but no such luck. one of my worst fears came to be...i had to throw up on the airplane (hasnt happened in about 18 years!) thankfully, or not thankfully, i made it to the airplane restroom. do you know how disgusting those things are? and then to be squatting, 5 months prego with twins, trying not to touch anything in said disgusting space. thinking about it made me loose my cookies a few more times. i wouldnt call myself germaphobic, but there are limits and that crossed all of mine!! anyway, our time in pennsylvania was nice! we hadnt seen his grandparents in about 14 months, so that was awesome. we also saw his two great aunts and his aunt and uncle and cousin from maryland. we all celebrated thanksgiving on sunday afternoon. wednesday morning we packed up and just as we were about to head out to the car to begin the drive to new jersey, we got a text from our "fake family" in ohio that they were passing through washington and wanted to grab coffee. it was so awesome to see some of our ohio family (doug, caroline, and breezy) even just for a few minutes. my "fake sister" morgan lives in west virginia with her husband. they are expecting their first baby about 3 weeks before the LOtwins come. so fun!!! most of wednesday was spent on the road driving...the worst traveling day of the year was not as bad as it could have been, but of course i was sick almost the whole drive, so i tried to sleep the vast majority of it. are you catching a theme here? i am a horrible traveler, even as a child, i tend to get very motion sick! heartburn and pregnancy did not help this trip. thankfully, peter, laura, and bob were very understanding and allowed me pit stops when needed. it was really nice to spend extra time traveling with peter's sister, laura, and her husband, bob. laura and i get along really well...we love our girl chats! neither one of us are that great on the phone, so we have to make up for lost time when we see each other. :) bob and laura left new jersey this morning to head back to pennsylvania to get ready for the first day of deer season (monday). we got to see all of the new jersey family while they were here, which was great. thanksgiving dinner on thursday was a huge success and we had lots of great food, some of which laura and i had a part of making. peter and i leave for home tomorrow afternoon. we are glad to have a direct flight from new york into houston, but the flight is about 4 hours. please pray i do NOT get sick on this flight!!! 

i know it has been a while. things with the LOtwins have been going great. i am starting to feel pretty big! today i am 20 weeks and 3 days. definitely over half way! i guess with twins, 18 weeks is half way...but either way, we are starting to get super excited! this tuesday, the 27th, we will have our big anatomy scan and also find out the genders of the LOtwins!!! we cant wait!!!! we have planned a gender reveal party with some friends...and since i feel like i can eat sweets again, i am excited to share that with our friends in houston. here is the invite we sent out...thanks to my awesome friend, amos, for designing the invite (if you ever need anything done graphically, let me know, i will get you his contact info). here are a few pics from this week too! check back tuesday night for a blog gender reveal!! :) 

Caroline, me, Breezy, Peter, Doug. miss them so much!!!

Bob and Laura on thanksgiving. so thankful for them!!

20wks1day with 2 banana sized babies! definitely showing!!

my hunky hubby and me at his grandparents on thanksgiving. i LOVE his beard!! hope he doesnt shave it off dec. 1!

i pray you all had a very blessed thanksgiving! i know the holidays can be very difficult for some. i am praying that we all feel God's love and continue to see His blessings throughout this whole holiday season! 

blessings, ALo

Texas or bust!!

we are moving...to houston, tx...!!! there is so much that i could say, but dont really know where to start...

yes, we were praying for this. maybe not necessarily houston in the beginning, but something different. peter has not been happy with his job for some time, so this is a definite answer to prayer! peter will be working for cameron, an oil drilling company, with their engineering team. this is a good career move for him which makes this a good move for our family! the big move will happen pretty quickly, but i will not be there permanently for several more weeks. peter will be able to take a couple weeks off from his current job before starting his new job (start date of july 25th). we will make a trip down with his car and his electronics (!!!) to look around and scope a few things out and we will then fly back up north for a family reunion and a few goodbyes. this is where i get anxiety! i hate saying good-bye, or even see ya later. i know that texas is pretty far from everything that we have known for the 5 years we have been married. as mentioned in a previous post, peter and i have an anniversary trip to jamaica planned over labor day weekend. so, right after that trip (our flights for that trip have been booked to leave from dayton, ohio) i will start my final trip from ohio to texas. i really am excited!! i am excited about the new job for peter, new house (eventually) for us, and kinda just starting over. we all know how crazy this year has been for us and a change in scenery maybe what i need to focus on...although, that is where the biggest source of my anxiety (today) is coming from. it will be so hard to leave our close friends that we have here and our family just a few hours away. there is no way that we, especially me, could have made it through our pregnancy and loss of our baby girl without our support system. i am sad that people in texas will not know charlotte like my friends here do. they wont understand the excitement we will eventually have over the next baby because they dont know we went through to have babies. yes, i am open and will share when i feel comfortable or when people ask about my tattoo, but it wont be the same. that being said, i have said to several people, i could talk to a brick wall if needed...meaning, i have no problem making friends! and i know that the people here that love me will still love me even from far away! by the way...houston is the 4th largest city in the nation, which means it is easy to get there...several great airports...come visit! we will be about 45 min for galveston beach and not far at all from the 2nd largest mall in the nation, the galleria! yep...plan a trip and visit us! 

so, over all...YIPPPPPEEEEEEE we are moving to houston, texas!!!!

prayer requests:

1. that peter's transition into his new job would go smoothly and that we will fit right in (btw, he two very close friends from college that work at cameron...that is our connection!)

2. that the details of our relocation will work out just right...mostly the sale of our home here in ohio. the new company is offering a lot of help, but we will need to sell this house...and ASAP would be great!

3. that we can have good quality time with everyone without feeling stressed about doing everything we need to do. i would hang out all day with friends, but that doesnt get the packing done! :)

we know that we are following what God whats for us, which is why we have so much peace about moving across the country. God has closed and open the perfect doors for us and we cant wait to see what is next...hope i dont melt in the houston heat..it was 113 degrees there yesterday!!!

blessings, ALo

Thanks, Oprah

i started tivo-ing oprah's farewell season in the fall and as the season draws to an end the episodes have been pretty good. today was all about weight loss. now, if you have ever seen more than two pics of oprah, let alone follow her show, then you know that she has always struggled with her weight fluctuation. today's show was all about weight loss...specifically highlighting fans that have lost over 100 pounds each. every person interviewed did their weight loss (or so they say) the right way...meaning they did diet/portion control and exercise. there was also an 11 year old little girl that lost 50lbs after her mom ran a marathon...so inspiring!! bob green (oprah's personal fitness trainer/nutritionist/friend) sat down with her and they talked about 3 questions that you have to be honest about if you ever want to loose weight. i started listening. you see, i have a weight problem. i came to my senses this past weekend while in georgia for my 10 year class reunion. i have to be real about it if i want to change...so here it is...i have gained 50 pounds in 10 years. i am 5'4" and weigh 202lbs. ouch! more than ouch!! i have heard my whole life that i dont look like what i really weigh...this time it is not true, and worse than that i feel it! bob green gave 3 questions to think about. he said that if you can answer them then you are on your way to beginning the hard journey.

1. why are you overweight?
     there are a lot of reasons, but never seem like good enough excuses. i know that i am an emotional eater, and the last few months have not been an exception at all. just like oprah said, i am not stressed because i eat!! i am overweight because for a long time i told myself it wasnt that bad. i told myself that i am built differently and wont ever be "skinny". like i said there are all kinds of excuses, but it really comes down to me not liking myself or the circumstances in my life. i punish myself ultimately by rewarding myself with treats or overeating when something good or bad happens.

2. why do you want to loose weight?
     first of all, i dont want to diet. i want to change. i want to loose weight to be healthy. i want to loose weight to fit into my clothes. i want to loose weight to be attractive to Peter (he has NEVER said anything to me, EVER, but i dont want things to change between us because of my weight, which would be my fault!!) i want to loose weight to be a healthy, active, "there" mom for my kids. if this is not a diet than this is a long term goal...not a fad or a right now thing.

3. why have you been unsuccessful to date?
     plain and simple, denial. i lie to myself. i tell myself it is not the number on the scale, or that as i get older its ok if the number goes up a little bit...i have told myself everything under the sun to make it better/ok. partly, too, it has never been this bad and i have never felt this desperate about my life and weight. if this does not happen this time it may never happen and will only get worse...that terrifies me!!

so, there it is! i "know"what i am supposed to do. i know "how" to do that, but it is those first few steps that are really hard! i need to remember that the weight did not come on over night so it wont come off over night (even though that would be AWESOME). the goal is to loose the 50lbs, slowly but consistently so that it stays off. it will be interesting if/when peter and i get pregnant again, but we will just cross that bridge when it comes...i cant keep putting this off!!

look out jamaica...i will be there in september...lookin much better than i do tonight! sorry houston, you wont be as lucky next week! :(

please encourage me! keep me accountable!! so scary that you all know about this now, but i need a good swift kick in the rear...do it!! i will post a weigh in result each monday. thanks, friends!!

blessings, ALo
ps. the other "interesting" thing said on today's show (a repeat from a dr. oz segment a few years back)...for every 35 pounds a man looses, he gains an inch "down there". that one guys attention and he lost 104 pounds. he and his wife both said it was true...i was just cracking up!! :)

What's New?

3 months or 90 days or 2,167 hours or 13,030 minutes or 7,801,200 seconds. this is what has elapsed since we said good-bye to Charlotte Jean. today is the 3 month mark...or as some say, her "angelversary". lisa asked me today if we were considering january 8th Charlotte's birthday, or what we were calling it. well, the short answer is yes, but even if i had just gone into labor, not induced, Charlotte would not have lived :( she was just under 22 weeks gestation and because of her health issues, her lungs were not developed past 13 weeks. so, january 8th is not Charlotte's "birth day", but it is when we "met" her in the hospital, so that is what we will celebrate as her day.

if you have been reading my blog over the last few months, then you have read about some of my emotions and you have read about a few of the things that i have been doing. today, i caught myself wondering what i would be doing if Charlotte had lived and was here with us. then i tried to think about what i have accomplished since january 8. i made a new best friend (lisa and i met in person for the first time on february 10). i have had the pleasure of doing lots of traveling since early january. i have taken two trips to michigan, a four to indianapolis, one to florida, one to an indoor waterpark in northern ohio, one to pennsylvania, one to dallas, and one to fort wayne. i have had two house guests (other than grant!). i spoke at a women's bible study (am and pm sessions), have had one full spa day and plenty of coffee visits and/or lunches with friends to "talk life". i have cleaned the clothes off my bedroom floor (2x, and it is currently clean...this is a whole other blog post!), i have made more home cooked meals than in the last four years of marriage, i have done quite a bit of "home hair" for friends, read 8 books, fought with the insurance company several times, made 3 rosette balls (project pics eventually) and have been introduced to four newborn babies! all of this in addition to blogging and the world i have been introduced to through blogging...to say that i have been busy would be an understatement.

as i was sitting on my front porch, in the sun no less, thinking about all of this, i got really emotional. if Charlotte was here i wouldnt have been able to do a lot, but i would have been ok with that. i would much rather have my baby. of course, i didnt have a choice about that. so after i got over my self pity, i started thinking about the legacy that i am living for/because of Charlotte. since january 8th, i have had to make a choice everyday to be better than my old self because of my new life with (or technically without) Charlotte. heaven has become a very real place to me, knowing that is where my baby is waiting for me. my faith has become much deeper, no longer just the sunday school/christian school/bible major education basis for faith. relationships have become more important to me (hence all the traveling) and being real within those relationships is key. i have to be certain that Charlotte will not just be a sad story. i want my days to be about more than just hours, minutes, and seconds. i want to live a legacy that my baby girl would be proud of. a legacy and life lead by our Father, who is holding my Charlotte until i get to see her again.

"Lord, please let my days be filled by what makes me yearn for You. God, i want to be better everyday and live a life worthy of the sacrifice that Your Son made for me. thank you for the gift and blessing of Charlotte Jean. i have learned more in the last 6 months because of her than i have in the previous 28 years about who You are and Your love for me. please help me make my life worthy of Your gifts and sacrifices for me. please let others see Your love through me, through my love for Charlotte...help me make that choice every morning. God, let the Spirit guide me and lead me to give grace and love in all that i do. I love You and i know that Your love for me is never ending."

Galatians 5:22-26 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."

blessings, ALo