October 15th

october is breast cancer awareness month, but it is also pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. specifically, october 15th is the day set aside to remember all the sweet babies we have lost who are waiting for us in Heaven. this was all set up back in 1988 by the awesome (and one of my favorites) president reagan. unfortunately, over the last 24 years, the stats have not gotten much better. 1 in 4 pregnancy end in tragedy. there are still over 2,000 infant deaths/miscarriages each day in the united states alone. so sad...takes my breath away!!

january 8th will always be the day that peter and i set aside to celebrate our sweet charlotte and her short time with us. today, october 15th, i have spent so much time praying for sweet family and friends of mine that i have met personally or through blogging that have all had to said good bye too soon to their sweet babies. some of these people have been such a huge encouragement to me in getting me through the days and weeks since saying good bye to Charlotte. Heaven is going to be such a sweet place of reunion when we all hold our babies again! I CAN NOT WAIT!!!

in special remembrance today for:
my big brother
my niece/nephew that i call Peanut
Jaxton
Lulu
Thatcher
Bean
Christian
Filomena
Caleb
Matthew

i cant wait to meet each of you in Heaven and snuggle you close!

please take a moment to remember the sweet babies in Heaven and say a pray for their parents as they anxiously await their reunion!

i love you, baby girl! cant wait to see you and hold you once again!!

blessings, ALo

Drained

drained

that is how i feel tonight. i am physically and mentally drained from a week of camp with middle schoolers and high school service tonight, and i am drained emotionally today after Thatcher's beautiful memorial service.

i wanted to say thanks for the prayers today. i really did ok, it is just a lot for anyone to process. it was an amazing time of celebrating all that God has been doing in and through Thatcher's life here. to hear the testimonies from nurses, people in response to the blog, family member's hearts...all heavily impacted by Thatcher's 2 months and 29 days.

there were two parts of this service that will always stand out to me.

1. at the beginning of the service, my friends robin and blake (aunt and uncle to Thatcher) along with nate (Thatcher's uncle, robin's brother) and a family friend got up to sing Holy Spirit. i have added a version to listen to. how awesome to say that they were welcoming the Holy Spirit in this time. to say that what they (Thatcher's family) longed for was His presence. it was so awesome to see the family get up and lead the whole place in worship. i am not sure how they did it, but it was amazing!

holy spirit by bryan and katie torwalt

2. eric, Thatcher's daddy, got up to speak. towards the end of his speech, he encouraged us to sing praises to God so that our voices would join Thatcher's in praise. i teared up because that is how i often think of Charlotte, singing and worshipping God, and since saying good bye to her, my worship and praise has been so different...so much more meaningful. what an awesome thing to think about...our now perfect children singing and worshipping with us! i cant wait to actually be in Heaven!!!

i was invited to the private burial and luncheon after the memorial. the family did an amazing job making the whole day a celebration. even though i was on an emotional roller coaster today, i was blessed to be there and be encouraged by eric and whitney and their families. Thatcher has changed so many lives and i cant wait to see how God continues to use this little guy to further His kingdom.

Scripture from today:
Psalm 42:2-11 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon--from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me-- a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?" My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?" Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.


2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Hebrews 4:14-16 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are —yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

please continue to pray for this sweet family. i remember how hard the first few days (after everything was over) were for me. please continue to prayer for peace and comfort!!!

blessings, ALo

Not Ok

why are some of asked to endure trials that seem insurmountable? its not ok!

tomorrow i will be attending Thatcher's memorial service. why? why does this keep happening to families? it makes me so sad!!! i feel terrible for eric and whitney! please pray for eric and whitney and for their family and friends tomorrow! it is a horrible thing to have to say good bye to a baby! its not ok!

as i have been praying and asking for preparation for tomorrow, i have been thinking about Jaxton all day. i will never forget the amazing moments i spent with Jaxton and his sweet mom, lisa, while he was here on earth. i miss him so much!!! my life and my heart will be forever changed because of that little boy! now it will be the same with Thatcher. even though i only spent about 10 hours total with him, he will always hold a tender spot in my heart. i am praying that i can be strong, loving, and encouraging to whitney over the next few days, weeks and months. i pray that God will give her peace that passes all understanding!

please pray this family. please pray for me.

Me and Thatcher the first time I met him, back in April.

I was at Thatcher's house the day this was taken, last Monday. We had family hair cut day!

blessings, ALo

Kickin and Screamin

i am just about to go to bed, but i wanted to let you know that everything is fine. i have been off the radar for a little bit...i just wanted to see what it was like to process some things with out blogging. the verdict is in...i dont like it! i really dont care how many people read this, it is helpful for me just to type it out sometimes.

the last few weeks have been busy and this week is going to be the most crazy, busy, tiring week for months to come! this week we are going to beach camp!!!!! this is the week that i have been working towards since i started my job at the church. i am excited, nervous, apprehensive, ready, blessed, praying, and believing. we are taking 166 people to camp...135 of those are middle school students. AHHHH!!! we are staying at a beach resort with furnished condos, we have planned out rec time and free time and best of all we are expecting God to do some awesome things in the hearts of our students through our times of worship. my job (other than putting together a few things tomorrow and getting everyone to camp on thursday) is done. now, i have to hope and pray that everything that we have planned is going to happen (the food, the buses, the bon fires, etc.). please be praying for me this week! we leave thursday morning and come back monday afternoon. peter is going too! he will be with a condo full of 8th graders and he is also in charge of all the tech for our worship times. God bless my husband...willing to use 3 vacation days to minister to middle schoolers!! God bless all of our volunteer leaders! so awesome!!

so, all i need to do now is pack! i did go bathing suit shopping again today..ugh! i tweeted earlier today that bathing suit shopping is one of those things that does NOT get better with age. i hate it more and more each time i have to do it! if you know me, then you know (regardless of how much i weigh) i have huge "girls". im not kidding! bathing suits are not made for my girls to be covered appropriately for me to be going to beach camp as a leader with students. so, i have been looking online, i have lost more weight, and even resigned myself to getting a "grandma" bathing suit if needed. well, today was the last day i could actually go shopping before camp. i came home after a few hot flashes, a couple (almost) curse words in the dressing rooms, and a face that is all broken out (just like my middle school students) with a bathing suit in hand! no, it is not my first choice, but i will get great use out of it for both middle school and high school camp (that is 6 days after we get back from this camp!!) and maybe even a few trips to the pool this summer.

i didnt end up getting all the way to my weight loss goal before camp, but considering i was on vacation last week (not good for a diet) and been running myself ragged with home hair and work, i am ok with where i am this week, even after bathing suit shopping. i have set a new goal of an additional 12 pounds by our anniversary (8/12). that will put me very close to where i want to be over all. i keep praying that by loosing all this weight, we are getting more prepared to have a baby. i guess we will find out at camp if we are pregnant or not. if not, i have an appointment on 6/22 for a follicle search and will begin hcg injections. praying so hard we do not have to do that, but we are trusting God to lead us where He wants us!

ok, i know this was long. this is why i need to blog regularly!! :)

blessings, ALo

ps. i got to see Thatcher today! man is he ever a cute little guy!! please continue to pray for him and for his parents! if you are friends with them on facebook, please send them some love and encouragement!!

Hannainee

hebrew word for "here I am".

i learned this word this weekend from our awesome pastor and his wife, mark and laura. they did an awesome job bringing the message together! but ever since saturday night, when peter and i went together, i have been thinking about hannainee, here i am. am i? am i saying that? or am i saying, God where are you? am i expecting God to just say "ok, i get it, everything will be perfect now." am i allowing God to use me and mold me and show me all that He wants for me? am i relying on Him or on myself? i would love to say that it is always easy for me to trust God, but sometimes its not. in my darkest hour(s), who am i looking to? i know that He is always there and that He is always guiding me, but that does not mean i always take the right action steps. God has me where i am for a reason and i need to say HANNAINEE. here i am!!!! 

so, after the weekend, as i was still processing all that God was telling me through His word and mark and laura's message, i was able to go meet baby Thatcher. i was a little nervous about all the emotions that i might feel while i was there. i didnt want to freak eric an whitney out by asking too many questions, or crying, or whatever might happen. i told myself to take it easy and just prayed for wisdom and discernment. the last time i was in a NICU i was hanging out with Jaxton and lisa and josh. to say that it brought back a few emotions would be an understatement! this NICU was so different than Jaxton's room, so that was kinda weird, but good for me at the same time. i got to have some really good conversations with sweet whitney and eric. i was also able to just pray over baby Thatcher for a long time. robin and i were there for almost 4.5 hours...it went so fast and i felt a little bad having stayed so long. Thatcher had an ok night. he "destated" several times, especially during his feeding and one major one as they adjusted his cpap machine. major meaning he was not breathing at all for several seconds, was completely blue, and his stats were not at a good level. sometimes he destats because even though he is breathing, he is not getting good breaths. sometimes it has to do with his reflux issues, and sometimes they are not sure why he stops breathing. Thatcher is already a miracle baby. to see him pulling his neck up and fighting with his mom is cute in a way. he can grip her finger and move his tongue all around his pacifier. he can open his eyes and make little noises...all of this they were told he would never do! as i watched whitney and eric last night, i could tell they were living the hannainee. in their darkest hour, they are trusting God to use them. they are trusting God to use their son. there are several other babies and families in the same NICU pod and they all know Thatcher as the miracle. they are all watching to see what God does next in his little body to show that He is in control. i prayed on the way home for encouragement for whitney and eric. i know those days can be very hard and very long. i know that it is not easy to live the hannainee, but they are, and they are doing it well! 

please continue to pray for Thatcher. he is making some strides, but his little body is still so confused about some major things. please pray for more answers and a clear plan of action. please pray that he will be able to successfully make the switch from cpap to nasal cannula. please pray for medicine to help with seizures that are not too much sedation for the rest of his body. please pray for God to continue to do miracles in Thatcher's life to bring others to a relationship with Him. 

me and thatcher, 3 weeks and 2 days! he was up to 6lbs and 13oz last night!

i hope that as we are getting ready for easter you are saying Hannainee, here I am!

blessings, ALo

ps. i will blog more about it later, but i am surviving on the hormones. peter may not agree, but whatevs! :) thanks for the encouragement!!

Rest

remember how last weekend i was supposed that have a doctors appointment on monday and it didnt happen? i was kinda fine with it all by the end of the day because i knew i was leaving for florida super early the following day! i had decided somewhat last minute to go see my grandparents in florida during our students' spring break. my grandparents (my mom's side, we call them mimi and boppa) have lived in florida full time for the last several years. i have grown up spending a lot of my vacations (especially winter and spring time) in marco island with them. my grandparents are so awesome!!! there are no words for how blessed i am. because they are both getting up in age, it is important that i spend as much quality time with them as possible. it is always hard leaving the beautiful sunny weather, and this week was no exception. if you follow me at all on instagram, twitter, or facebook then you saw the pics. it was perfect there! of course the trip did not start without a set back. that was a given with the kind of monday i had. 

on tuesday i got up plenty early (with only 2 hours of sleep, remember nash was here!) to make my early flight. i was checked in and in line for security with a TON of time to spare! of course when i realized the line was wrapped all the way around the waiting area, i was worried. then i noticed that there were dozens of people going around us and getting through security without being in line. by the time i got up to a place where i could ask a "guard" i was told that he was sure i could still make my flight (even though they were boarding). the people skipping the line had been cancelled the day before from flights and they were needing to get to the customer service center to get on a new flight. yeah, so people that didnt have flights yet were going through and cutting off people who already had flights. needless to say, i did not make my flight. in fact, i watched them close the doors as i was sprinting with my bags (quite a sight i am sure!). i was so upset. this 7:10am direct flight was going to get me to ft. myers at 10:37am...perfect to spend an entire day on tuesday with my grandparents...the whole reason for the trip. i was told (after much pleading and begging for them to open the doors) that they could not do that for us ...yes, there were 4 of us that got stuck in the line!! anyway, i was put on stand by for the 1:30pm flight and given a seat on the 8:30pm flight. i started praying and hoping that i would somehow get on that 1:30pm! praise the Lord...i did. i was the only one of the group that did. i felt a little bit bad at first, but quickly got over it. :) dog eat dog, right??!!?? anyway, once i was there, my trip was serious smooth sailing. of course i got burnt, i got to watch march madness with my mimi (hysterical and ver serious!), i went on a long boat ride with my boppa and my aunt and uncle, i went shopping with my cousin, and just rested. rested, rested, rested. i also read two books in 3 days, with is restful to me. i felt pretty emotional when i left, but that is not unusual for me. not knowing when i will see someone again, especially mimi and boppa, is hard. i am just so thankful that i know, if God took them home tonight, that they would both be spending eternity with Him. 

i came back really late friday night, so glad to see peter and spend time with him on saturday before work. tonight we are hanging low. i am feeling emotional and just needed to come home and do a few "no brainer" tasks before the week starts. of course, tomorrow will be plenty emotional too. i took a pregnancy test tonight...it was negative. so, we will keep our appointment tomorrow afternoon. we have an ultrasound at 4:15 then a sit down with the hormone specialist. 

tonight, i am praying for my mimi and boppa. i am praying for great physical health and mental clarity. i am thanking God for all that He has blessed me with because of them! i am praying for emotional stability for me and for rest tonight...hoping that i can shut off my brain! :) 

please be praying for baby thatcher and his parents!! they just updated their blog! also, please be praying for my sweet friend susie and their baby GIRL! (yes, two of my friends were just told they were having boys which have now turned into finding out they are actually girls!) they have also given a few updates. please watch the video on their blog...it is so awesome to hear susie and ben's heart!! 

blessings, ALo

Its a Bust

i know that some many of you have been praying for me today. thank you!!!! this morning was super frustrating because i didnt have any of the appointments that i was supposed to.

i had to leave the house almost 2 hours before my appointment to ensure i would not get stuck in traffic and miss the appoinment. i asked my sweet friend jess to come with me since peter could not take off work. so jess and i showed up at 8:40ish to be told that i was not supposed to be there today. WHAT???? poor jess, i just about lost it! (i did tell her how nervous i was on the way there...i told her if i didnt throw up that i would probably cry :) ) anyway, to make a long story much shorter, there was a HUGE scheduling mix up and i have to wait until monday for another appointment (i have to wait because i leave for florida in the morning).

on the plus side, i made the appointment next monday for when peter can come with me. i am so glad that we will be able to sit together and figure it out.

so, thank you for the prayers...how about you say them again next week? :)

the rest of the day was BUSY!!! i did a few home hair appointments, made a few meals for peter for when i am gone, cleaned the house, and did 4 loads of laundry. this evening, baby nash (10 months old this week) came to play while his mom and dad (our friends robin and blake) went to see sweet baby thatcher. thatcher is nash's cousin, robin's nephew (whitney is robin's sister). i am so glad that we could help out in this small way so that robin and blake can go support and encourage whitney and eric. thatcher has had his ups and downs today, but it is easier for everyone if nash hangs with me since he cant go in to see thatcher. i really dont have too many updates on thatcher, and i dont want to share if i do not have the ok from the family. please do not stop praying for thatcher's progress and clarity for whitney and eric!

what is so crazy about nash is that he was born the day after Charlotte's due day. nash was born may 15, 2011. he and Charlotte would be the same age!! tonight as he was giggling and trying to walk, and "helping" me fold laundry i couldnt help but think about Charlotte. nash is pretty advanced for his little self...i think he has 9 teeth! he pulls himself up on everything and then just stands there not holding on to anything. he has the biggest toothy grin and the most infectious smile. how would Charlotte be? would she be super outgoing like nash or super chill and want to sit on the couch. p.s. nash did not stop moving until i rocked him to sleep in my arms, which was of course the sweetest thing. would Charlotte love bananas too? anyway. nash is one of the sweetest baby boys ever...i will volunteer to play with him anytime!!

off to pack for my mini spring break!! :) CANT WAIT!!! my 7:00am flight is going to come very early!

blessings, ALo

2 New Babies!

there is so much that has happened in the last day and it mostly has to do with babies.

first, if you have been following baby thatcher's story, please keep praying! baby thatcher caleb was born last night at 11:09pm. he beat so many odds/predictions/etc. just by being born! then he weighed in at 6lbs 1.5oz...way more than the 5lbs 3oz. the doctors originally thought! that is awesome!!! right now, thatcher is  in the NICU and he is on a ventilator (meaning he is not breathing on his own). we are praying that changes. the doctors think that he may be having a few other complications, so they were hoping to do several tests today. please be praying for thatcher. please pray for whitney and eric...for peace and clarity and for quality time with thatcher.

as peter and i sat at the table today, we just cried for this sweet family. we cried tears of joy that thatcher has done and continues to do more than doctors gave whitney and eric hope for. we cried tears of heartache that whitney and eric have to watch their precious son go through so many tests and procedures and are still unsure of what to do or what is going to come next. we cried because we understand fighting and praying for your child.  please continue to pray for them. go to their blog and post some encouragement...and check out the sweet picture of this family of three!! the picture does not show it, but thatcher has lots of dark brown hair...so cute!!

second, i have a new baby brother!!! yep...my dad and jess had a baby boy last night! Jude Edward Southwick was born just before 8:30 pm (michigan time) weighing in at 9lbs and 21" long. jessica is doing great (she is a pro now, this is #6 in just over 6 years!!!) but is tired. jude is doing awesome too. jess said that jude is super laid back and quiet. good thing because he is the youngest of 6! sounds like the older siblings (mamie, matilda, mila, maggie, and james (we call him edy)) are all so excited and loving having another baby in the house. dad and jess have had the last 4 (i think) kids at home with a midwife, so jess is able to rest and be at home. please be praying that jess gets the rest that she needs and that jude will quickly get on a schedule.

doesnt he look super chill? this was taken today. 

wow...lots of emotions over the last 24 hours!

tomorrow is my appointment with the specialist, which gives me a whole other set of emotions that i do not understand yet. i am a little nervous. i am a little anxious. i am a little excited. i am a little hopeful. so many things. i am thinking or maybe i am hoping that the doctors will not find anything tomorrow. i hope that things are fine and then i find out next week that i am pregnant. anyway...i dont really know what to hope for or pray for, but God knows exactly what i need and i am resting in that comfort tonight. i will let you know tomorrow what we find out.

"Call upon Me in the day of trouble: I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me." Psalm 50:15



"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’" Isaiah 41:10


"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work."  2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

thanks for being prayer warriors with me!!

blessings, ALo

Thatcher

i have a blog post that i want to write later about something awesome that happened to me the other day, but it is really late (just got back from a high school event) and i wanted to share the latest news from Thatcher's parents. PLEASE continue to pray for them!!! this family has become very dear to my heart. there are still so many unanswered questions! i am so thankful that they are strong believers and have faith that God is working in this little life already! they have hear from people literally all over the globe...people are praying for a miracle, and i am doing nothing less myself! so, please join me!!

Update for Thursday 2/16 (sorry it's a long one)

Thursday began much more quickly than the first few days had. A different pediatric neurologist stopped by our room even before he began his rounds to let us know he was going to look at the images of Thatcher’s head and that he would be back by in a few hours to discuss what he determines from them, and he stuck to his word. He came back in and we dove right in to another diagnosis and possible prognosis for Thatcher. This time we were given some “cautious optimism” as the doctor put it. He provided for us an entirely objective look at Thatcher’s scans, he purposefully had no history, and focused on the brain scans only, so as to be as objective as possible about his diagnosis. He let us know that both he and the neuro-radiologist who looked at the scans with him, believed that it could possibly be Aqueductal-Stenosis, which is a treatable condition. The prognosis to go with it is essentially what the world would consider a normal life and normal life expectancy. The thing that you have to know about this consult is that we weren’t even supposed to meet with this doctor. God had put it in motion that we would several days earlier. Our friend, Brittney, was in the room when the news was initially broken, recommended him as a great neurologist, and then she was able to let him know of our story, so he went out of his way to meet with us. God certainly is in control here. The meeting was quickly followed by another consult with a maternal fetal medicine surgeon (the one who broke the news to us on Tuesday night). He immediately shot down the idea of Aqueductal-Stenosis and took it off the table of possible diagnosis. He let us know that we would be meeting with a neo-natologist (fancy word for a high-risk pediatrician) later that day, broke the news to us that Thatcher would almost certainly be delivered via C-section, and that we could expect to be discharged that afternoon. The neo-natologist came in a few hours later with a lady from the CAPS (chronic and palliative care team) to go over what to expect during the actual birthing process as well as possible measures of intervention and care for Thatcher. It was both a good and very tough meeting. We were able to discuss and talk about how we will fight for Thatcher no matter what that looks like, we want him to have the best chance possible, and we will do anything and everything possible for him when he is born, but at the same time we had to look at the other side of the coin and discuss decisions that no parent should ever have to make for their newborn child. Such as resuscitation, ventilation, ect. They helped us develop a birth plan and were on their way. Needless to say the day was pretty up and down, and with a day like that, after spending a week in the hospital and having more possibilities then answers you would expect to get frustrated (trust us, when we begin to focus on it, we get pretty frustrated). But it just made us chuckle, that yes these doctors are very knowledgeable and we are thankful for their wisdom and professional opinions; they really have no clue what to expect. It was just yet another reminder that God is in control, and only He knows Thatcher’s story, and He will write it however He sees fit. In between meetings with doctors God orchestrated different encounters to keep us focused on Him, and to let us know that He was with us and in control. From our nurse walking in declaring that she is a Christian and that she sees miracles in the hospital everyday to the many encouraging emails, phone calls, texts, facebook posts, and messages. We even realized that God was using this situation to answer a prayer that Eric has had this entire pregnancy. Eric has prayed that God would be alive in our home, that he would have stories to share with Thatcher to illustrate that our God is not just a character spoken about in the bible but that He is alive and well and working in and around our lives and the lives of others. Well, we have heard so many stories of God’s grace, healing power, His dominion and might, and we are currently witnessing the body of Christ move in a way that we’ve never seen before. God is certainly alive, and He is doing big things. Whitney’s dad was sent a message from a friend in Qatar who was approached by a friend of hers who wanted to share the story of a young couple living in the Woodlands and their sweet baby boy. This woman does not know us, and our friend has no idea how she found out about Thatcher’s story, but this is just another example of how God is using Thatcher to reach people across the globe.

We continue to be humbled by the support of the body of Christ, by your prayers and your faith that God is truly sovereign. We will continue to pray knowing that He can and believing that He will heal Thatcher, in accordance to His will. We simply ask that you join us in this prayer.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20-21

blessings, ALo

Updates

here is an update on baby thatcher:

Update from 2/15 after Pediatric Neurologist consult:

The majority of today was a waiting game.  This morning we met with the maternal fetal medicine surgeon (the same doctor who brought us the MRI results last night) to make sure we understood what information was given last night and to answer any questions we had.  There weren't any new developments, or a change to his prognosis.  The positives out of the meeting were he admitted it's his job to give us a worst case scenario picture, and Thatcher not making it to delivery or only living a few hours is our worst case scenario.  Also, he agreed with us that Thatcher's movements and his "breathing practice" were good signs of some basic functions.  This afternoon we met with the pediatric neurologist who essentially had the same diagnosis, major atrophy to Thatcher's gray and white brain tissue resulting in hydrocephalus exvacuo (enlarged ventricles) but a much improved prognosis.  She couldn't give us a life expectancy, put a cap as to how long he might live.  She did say he will be in an infantile state for the duration of his life.  He will struggle with mental retardation, seizures, movement ability and control, ability to chew, to go the restroom, to sit, to walk among many other challenges.  BUT that's not what today was about, the things Thatcher won't be able to do.  Today was full of peace, of a renewal of our spirits, revelations of God's goodness, and full of evidence of God's miracles both big and small.  We have prayed from the beginning of this pregnancy that God would use Thatcher in a big way to bring glory to His name.  Today, God used Thatcher to bring people together from all over the US to The Netherlands, Africa, China, Greece, and Australia to look to Him in prayer.  A baby who they've told us will not develop past infancy has done more for the Kingdom of God before he is even born than his two parents have ever done!  Praise God! We are more convinced than ever that He is using our child to bring glory to His name and will continue to do so in a big way.  We are continuing to trust in Him, our Creator and Perfecter of life.  We know He can heal and we believe He will heal His child, our sweet baby Thatcher. Thank you all for your prayers, stories of healing, and encouraging words.  We are so humbled and blessed by the out-pouring of love from our brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus.  We only ask that you continue to go to God with expectancy of Him healing sweet Thatcher in accordance to His will. 

for the best updates on susie, please follow their ministry blog. i know that susie is meeting with several doctors today to come up with a plan. 

please continue to pray for both of these families. my heart is so heavy, but when i stop to pray i feel that burden start to lighten up. i know that God is in control of both of these situations!!!

thanks!

blessings, ALo

PRAY

i know that it has been a few days. i have been super sick and have not been up for anything.

i need you to pray!!! a sweet friend of mine here in texas has a nephew due in just a few weeks, but something has gone wrong. baby thatcher is due in about 4 weeks and up until this point, his mom's (whitney) pregnancy has been routine. aunt robin (my friend) was just at a huge baby shower for him three weeks ago, and when i was asking about thatcher on saturday everything was great. whitney had a routine 34 week appointment on monday and things did not look "normal". i do not know whitney and her hubby eric well...we have met once. here is a brief update from a facebook note on eric's page. PLEASE PRAY!!! we know that God is working...we know that the story is not over. this is whitney's second pregnancy, she suffered a miscarriage between five and seven weeks with her first baby. again, PLEASE PRAY!!!!

my heart is breaking for whitney and eric and for my friends (aunt and uncle) robin and blake.

from eric's page:

Hi Friends,

There's a lot to share so I thought a note would work best. We went to my wife's obgyn this morning for Thatcher's 36 wk visit, and 3rd trimester ultrasound. On the ultrasound he measured a little small at 4.11 lbs so her doctor decided to do a non-stress test to make sure his heart rate was good and was reacting normal with movements. Thatcher failed that test, so we were sent to the hospital to try again and to get a biophysical profile (an ultrasound where they test his amniotic fluid, his movement, his lung/diaphragm movement, and placenta.) He failed the nst again and on the bpp the radiologist found swelling in both ventricles of Thatchers brain caused by an old brain bleed that had gone unnoticed. We were sent downtown for further testing and for an MRI to see what brain damage were looking at. Since arriving downtown Thatcher has PASSED a non-stress test, weighed in at 5.4 lbs and has more fluid around him! So MRI has been postponed and another bpp has been scheduled for 8 am tomorrow. They claim the drs in the woodlands may have misread the original nsts and the bpp and they are reassured with the way thatcher is responding. We know these positive results are the outcome of God's healing power from our friends and family praying on our behalf! We are now asking all of you to join us in boldly asking God to completely heal Thatcher and stump the specialists who are coming to do an ultrasound at 8am tomorrow! Thank you for praying with us for our sweet baby Thatcher!!!

Update from today (2/14) after the MRI:

We got the results from the MRI this evening, the doctors have basically given up on Thatcher, they said that the MRI revealed that there is significant attrophe to thatchers brain in both the upper and lower parts, they do not know how long he will live once he comes and they don't know that he will even make it to delivery. They have told us to enjoy what time we have with him and prepare as best we can... We have not given up. We know Thatcher is God's child, he is still here and he is still alive and we will continue to pray boldly for healing fully knowing that God is bigger than anything, any ailment or disease or sickness. Thatcher is still kicking and we rejoice in every move that he makes, we will fiercely love this child no matter what Gods will is for him. Thank you so much for your prayers and support this far, please continue to pray for healing.

We love you all and are so humbled by your prayers. Facebook and text messages are fine but please allow us some time to wrap our minds around all of this and take it all in.


thank you for joining me in prayer!


blessings, ALo