so, the wait continues! i have been asked by so many if i know anything yet. i wish i did. this is just as hard for me as it is for you! (well, probably a little harder for me and peter, but you know, whatever) as i was sitting on the couch tonight watching "big brother" (ps. some of these people are so dumb! where do they come from? its like the line from tommy boy: "Hi, im earth, have we met?" "uh, i dont think so.") and researching IUIs, the next step, the waiting, etc. and i realized that we will have to wait longer than normal to be for sure, for sure pregnant. i could take a test 3 days before my missed period, but because of my hcg injection, i could get a false positive. hcg is the hormone that gives you a positive prego test result. so, the most accurate way of testing is to wait until i have missed a period and then test and then still go in for a blood test. so, instead of knowing for sure on sunday, we will all have to wait just a few more days until next wednesday/thursday. TORTURE!!!
speaking of elevated hcg levels, please be praying for my sister!! olivia and her hubby (brian) found out a few weeks ago that they are expecting the first part of march! this is liv's second baby and last saturday i got a text stating they were heading to the ER because she was spotting and cramping. thankfully, she was discharged after hearing the baby's heart beat (healthy 144 bpm). monday she returned to the doctor because she was still concerned. the doctor was not as concerned about the spotting, that should subside soon (she is just under 8 weeks right now) and so should the cramping. good news is that her cervix is still very much closed, but her hcg levels are not quite where they should be. she has to go in every two days for blood work to check her levels. if they dont go up, that could indicate a problem (potential miscarriage). if they start to climb, she should be ok. please pray that God would continue to grow this healthy baby. please pray the hcg level go up where they need to be. please pray that my sister is able to rest like she is supposed to. olivia has an 18 month old (zoe) at home that is very active and wants her mommy to play all the time. please pray that brian and olivia will be able to relax and not get stressed out (easier said than done) and that they will be able to encourage each other through this emotional and scary time. this is one of those times that i wished i lived closer so that i could just go get my niece and take her home with me for a while! wish i could be there to make them some meals and bring liv some movies to watch or a craft to do on the couch. i am praying for this sweet new niece/nephew that i already love so much!!!!
Brian, Olivia, and Zoe. this is the pic they posted to announce their pregnancy.
i also just posted the cutest video of zoe on my facebook page. makes me smile every single time i watch it! my brothers were videoing and you can just tell she was thinking "i am not sure if i should do this for them or not...ok, fine!" lol!!
hope you guys are all enjoying summer! we had a beach day with the high schoolers today and we go tomorrow with the middle schoolers...i love my job! :)
wow, what a day. the first thing i want to say is another BIG thank you for all the messages, texts, emails, calls, and cards. i feel so loved and supported. i loved hearing from so many people that they were praying for me and for peter and for our soon to be expanding family. thanks so much!!
i am currently sitting on the couch just relaxing. i feel a little crampy, but they told me to expect that. nothing too serious, just that uncomfortable feeling. i am also spotting a little due to the slight cervix dilation needed to do the IUI. my cervix was still dilated from earlier this month, but something about doing more to keep the tube straight while doing the actual turkey basting. the spotting should stop tonight. if i see more spotting later this week i am supposed to call right away. there is a higher chance of ectopic pregnancies with IUIs, so we are on the lookout for anything abnormal. the IUI equally increases our chances of multiples...oh my! we knew that going in, but it is kinda crazy to think about!! i was told yesterday that dr. todd thought there were four good follicles before the hcg injection. who knows how many will release to be fertilized, but again...that is more than one! we wont know until much later if we have multiples. peter did awesome today! his numbers were SUPER high. after the wash down, there were 90 million little guys left to inject...90 million!! for real??!!?? i know that it only takes one, so that is why the number seems so crazy to me. the specialist said that this was higher than most. goes to show, this is mostly about me and my issues.
even with that, i left today excited. i am sitting here, thinking about it all and i am super excited! based on the way the doctors and nurses were talking and responding, they were excited and encouraged too. that helped a lot with my anxiety. everyone seemed so excited for us! of course, the cupcakes probably helped! :) i ended up taking 40ish to the doctor's office and about 15 got picked up by my sweet co-worker, rachel, for the rest of my co-workers. i dropped the cupcakes off in our doctor's office before we picked up the "boys" upstairs. when we went back, everyone told us how awesome the cupcakes were and they were so thankful to have had them. guess that gives me an in for special treatment! :)
after the IUI, we waited for about 35 min, listening to worship music and praying. it was pretty emotional for me and i am soooooo thankful that peter was there. he was able to take a personal day today to be with me. it has been awesome. while i was laying there, i thought so much about Charlotte. i thought about all that God has done for our family. i prayed about all that He still has planned for us. it was all a bit overwhelming and i teared up. but the worship music was so great and helped calm me down along with praying! i am so glad that we prepared in advance to do that. i have mentioned that i wanted to be a witness to the nurses and doctors at the office, so the worship music during the whole procedure was, hopefully, awesome for them too...for them to see who we are. we are teaching our high schoolers about being the salt and light of the world, so i am praying that while telling them and i am also showing them (and others).
so, here i am on the couch. i am disappointed that i missed out on the high school service tonight, but i am so excited that i am home to relax after our conception day! :) we wont know anything for about a week and a half, but we are going to continue to be excited about what God has for us...a baby!!
here are a few pics from today:
awesome tortilla soup for lunch. FULL of veggies and so good! plus lunch w/ hubby!
conception day celebration cupcake
homemade almond funfetti w/ buttercream and glitter sprinkles
mostly finished, just a few not frosted.
if anyone wants the play list that we had for today...we called it "waiting worship", i can make that available. we use spotify, so its super easy!!
Psalm 113:9He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!
Psalm 139:13-16For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
this is my camp post...listen to this song...its our camp anthem (lyrics below)!!
Furious by Jeremy Riddle
Nothing can tear us from The grip of His mighty love We’ve only glimpsed, His vast affection Heard whispers of, His heart and passion It’s pouring down…
His love is deep, His love is wide And it covers us His love is fierce, His love is strong It's furious His love is sweet, His love is wild And it's waking hearts to life
The Father loves and sends His son The Son lays down His life for all He lavishes His love upon us He calls us now, His sons and daughters He’s reaching out…
… and its waking hearts to life He is waking hearts to life He is waking hearts to life
Your love is deep, Your love is wide And it covers us Your love is fierce, Your love is strong It's furious Your love is sweet, Your love is wild And it's waking hearts to life
by definition, furious means acting with or marked by or resulting from great force or energy or emotional intensity. doesnt knowing that make the song so awesome??!!? God's love for us is furious! it has force, energy, and intensity. our overall theme for both camps was FLIPPED. we took things that we think as normal and show how God FLIPs that (ie in order to have life, you must loose it. in order to be first, you must be last). this song was perfect for that theme. so often we think of God as this old man in a chair that we have to treat like an elderly grandpa, or as meek and mild devoid of much emotion and drive. when the students started understanding this thinking, their worship and daily bible study became deeper, more meaningful, and sometimes emotional. we saw so many changed lives through teaching about God's furious love for them.
if you read my post about middle school camp, then you know some of what God was teaching me. before leaving for high school camp, i asked God to continue working in my heart and in my thoughts. part of me was really looking forward to going back to high school camp, becuase i had "already been there, done that" kind of thing. i was going to get to sit back and relax a whole lot more than middle school week. a few things changed just 2 days before camp started! we knew that satan was really trying to put up some major road blocks of discouragement...we knew that some big God things were going to happen! the friday before camp on sunday, we found out our speaker was going to miss a day and a half due to a mandatory work meeting in chicago...!!! we also had two adult leaders back out the day before camp...!! that meant we had to do some quick thinking and some specific praying! our amazing team came together and worked it all out! God led us into an amazing night of worship while our speaker was gone, and myself and our awesome rec leader became adult leaders for condos full of young ladies!
to say that the night of worship softened hearts would be a huge understatement! God used something that we had never planned prior to camp to change the hearts of our students and bring them so much closer to Him. that night set the tone for bryan, our high school speaker, to urge students to go from being a simple fan of Jesus to a full blown follower of Jesus. stories and encouragement from our worship band and leaders helped show students that this life has its ups and downs, but God is always consistent and has walked the road ahead of us. we saw several accept Christ for the first time. we saw most of our students stand wanting to become different...a follower. it was amazing!!!
God had some awesome encouragement for me too. when we had two female leaders back at the last minute, i became a leader for 6 upcoming freshman and co-leader for 4 upcoming sophomores. i was a little bummed. not that i dont like being a leader, i do! i just felt unprepared and super self conscious. i usually like to make matching tshirts, bring decked out water bottles, and team themed headbands/bracelets/etc. i didnt get to be the cool leader. i was self conscious about hanging with "super cool" kids (at least most high schoolers think they are!)...i though i may not be cool enough to hang with them. i will be 30 years old in a few months!! but once i met the girls and we got settled in our awesome condo, God quickly started revealing how much these girls needed me...cool or not! one of my sweet girls revealed in our first group time that her mom had just had a miscarriage the week before camp. she was broken hearted. one of the sweet girls shared how she is trying to overcome self mutilation. one young lady told us that it was her first ever camp and she had never even owned a Bible before. by the end of the week, each of the 10 girls had made some amazing decisions for Christ! they grew together as a group to encourage each other and keep each other accountable. by the end of the week, i was so protective of each of them. i couldnt wait to get back and be a part of their growth in their FLIPPED relationship with God. and...they are all now following me on all my social media and several have said how much they miss me! ;) so cute!
this week restored my calling to be a part of high school youth ministry. not just the admin and event planning, but the small group leading, relationship building, Godly encouraging parts of high school ministry. that restoration will change my student interaction, my worship, my speaking style, my approach to my job...i was FLIPPED.
this song was one of my camp favorites. my awesome friend amos sang it. it rocked!!! read the lyrics...they are awesome. you will see why it means so much to me!
With Us by hillsong
VERSE 1: Before the world You knew the plans for me Before my heart believed You came to my rescue And now I'm found in love There's nowhere else to run You keep my life within Your mighty hand Oh God
CHORUS: There's no end to Your love There's no end to Your love You're with us You're with us There's nothing in this world That could take You away You're with us You're with us
VERSE 2: Before I call I know You'll answer me You'll make a way Beyond what I could imagine What could separate From the love You give I put my hope in everything That You are Oh God
CHORUS
BRIDGE: You reign in our hearts You reign above all Be lifted on high You reign in our hearts You reign above all Be lifted on high You reign in our hearts You reign above all Be lifted on high You reign in our hearts You reign above all Be lifted on high
CHORUS:
if you have never been a part of a youth camp, you should!! God will change your heart. and you will get to be a part of Him changing the hearts of everyone around you!
first and most important I am a child of God, loved unconditionally and saved by His grace. I have been married to my best friend, Peter, since 2006. We are blessed beyond belief! Life is crazy and super short, so why not share it with everyone...we can laugh and learn together!!
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