Dear Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,

Four years ago today we saw your sweet face for the first and last time here on earth. For months after you were born I was so sad, depressed, heartbroken, beat up from loosing you. I wanted you so badly from the very first moment I knew I was pregnant. The first time I heard your little fast heart beat at 7wks, I was totally in love with you. Later, when we found out you were sick, I pleaded and begged God to heal you, to "fix" you. I wanted you with me until I was old and grey.

But God, in His infinite wisdom, had a much better plan for you. Today, we are celebrating what would be your 4th birthday with us. But, sweetie, I know that you get to celebrate everyday. You are perfect in Heaven. You are whole, healthy, and clothed in righteousness!

I will be honest. Charlotte, mommy misses you, very dearly! I will never stop celebrating your birthday, and I will always remember all that you did to change my life, your daddy's life and the lives of so many others. You made me a mommy...you made me a mama bear in preparation for your little sisters. I know that the last three years I have used the weeks leading up to your birthday to be used for sadness and hurt and pain. I even told your daddy and others that I get a free pass to be mean and angry and on edge because of the pain in saying good bye to you much too soon. But this year I am really trying to choose joy. Joy in knowing that you are exactly where we should all want to be. Joy in knowing that you are exactly as God created us all to be...pain and sin free living with Him in celebration. I am choosing joy knowing that not every part of your life was sad...there are several people here who will meet you in Heaven one day because of your legacy and the impact it had in showing God's true character and love for them. I am choosing joy because of who you helped/are helping me to become. Your life will always be so much more than the moments surrounding my pregnancy and labor and delivery. But even those moments are sweet and part of your story...if i choose to see those.

Charlotte, yes, you will see mommy cry today. I will cry tears of different kinds...missing you tears, happy for you tears, telling your little sisters about you tears, wishing i could hug you tears, tears when i sleep with your blanket in stead of you tonight, love you forever and forever with my whole heart tears. But I promise to bring honor and glory to God in each moment knowing that because of Him I am blessed to call you my daughter, my sweet angel girl.

Charlotte, happy 4th birthday!!! I wish you were here helping me make you spaghetti and meatballs birthday dinner. I wish you were here to enjoy your birthday cake and some balloons. But I know that you are in Heaven dancing and singing and I can't wait to get there and join you!! You bring me so much JOY!!! I love you, Charlotte Jean!!!

xxoo, mommy

Timehop

timehop, you get me every time. usually my posts from a year ago are little twin pics. 2 years ago i was posting pregnancy cravings and twin prego pics. 3 years ago i was blogging a lot! 4 years ago my little bro was living with us, so that was always interesting. 5 plus years ago, i was working like crazy on building my clientele and busy being a wife to my hunk. (ps. if you don't know what timehop is...its an ap that connects with your social media outlets to give you a recap of what you posted exactly that day a year ago all the way back as far as you posted).

two weeks ago on timehop i saw my first post about "babyLo"...i announced our pregnancy with Charlotte. the thursday before my 28th birthday i heard her heart beat for the first time. i was 8 weeks pregnant. i was elated, over joyed!! nothing was "off". peter and i left that appointment with tears in our eyes bursting to tell the world.

today i got this on my timehop: "annoyed...didnt get to have the ultrasound bc the highway was shutdown while we were on it! not cool!!" looking back i remember being so disappointed. we were glad that we were safe...the highway was shut down due to a fatality, but we had been gearing up for this other first with our first. now, i know that God gave me another week of the joy. the next week we went in for the ultrasound and our world changed forever.

you know the rest.

usually i love timehop. i wonder though if i should just not look for a few months to spare myself the emotional roller coaster it may put me on. the last time we..., the day we found out..., God why..., all of the things that i posted in fear, pain, grief.

its amazing all that has happened in the last 4 years. i am not sure that i would even recognize that young woman from 4 years ago. i wonder if i would be anything like i am today if it were not for our short time with Charlotte. would we live where we live? would i know what i know about life? would i love my hubby the way i do today? most likely no. while i often look back over those few months with sadness and grief, but i have been blessed...richly, abundantly, beyond measure. i was broken, beyond human repair. but God has used me. God has healed me. God has brought me back...beyond where i ever could have gone without my time with Charlotte. my whole life was turned around and i can't be sad about that. i miss Charlotte, some moments more than others, but i know she's holding my spot for me in heaven...i can't wait!!

so, heres to the silly posts of 5+ years ago, the emotional and grief stricken of years 3-4 (ago), the excited and weird posts of 2 years and the adorable ones from last year. time passes much too quickly so i will relish the times and thank God for each of them...a reminder that "(His) love never fails, it never gives up, never runs out on me"-Jesus Culture.

tonight i will sleep and probably dream of my angel girl...i think her hair is the same color as the twins by the way...thats what it is in my dreams.

blessings,
ALo

Knocked the wind out of me

hi. my name is aimee and i used to blog.

so, i had been inconsistent and then i took a 1 year and 1 week break. there are reasons, nothing major, other than people stealing my kids pictures...idiots!! people, DO NOT steal my pictures, its rude and totally creepy!!! the other reason was i just didn't feel like sitting down and blogging for a while. i started my blog for me in the very beginning. then i blogged our pregnancy with Charlotte. then i blogged about our infertility issues and then my pregnancy and birth of our sweet twins, Claire and Annabel. at the time i quit blogging they were 6 months old. i can't believe it, but they are already almost 19 months old! so my blog had transformed into something i didn't really enjoy. i needed a break from it, to miss it and want to do it again.

so, here i am. my blog is entitled Alo's Place. this won't always be about my girls, it won't always make sense to any one but me. i need this to be my outlet...my processing spot. so, feel free to keep reading...or don't. its up to you. but either way here is my blog...

yesterday was a weird day. one of those days where grief creeps in and knocks the wind out of you. its been almost 4 years since we had Charlotte. four years!!!! thats just crazy to me. well, yesterday was one of those "normal" mondays in our house. i only do home hair on mondays (its gross to have hair all over my house with 2 toddlers more than just one day) so i was busy with people in and out, taking care of the girls, making dinner, etc. i really didn't have much time to think. when i sat down after putting the girls to bed, i sat down to respond to an email from a recent baby loss mom i have met through my blog. i was recalling so many things of our last days with Charlotte. typically, when talking about "our story" i am very factual, i rarely think about or explain the emotions. for some reason, last night was all emotional for me. that got me thinking about everything. i realized it was 4 years ago to the day that we found out we were pregnant with Charlotte. that gave me a huge smile. thinking back to before i had any fear of pregnancy, anxiety of doing something wrong, just pure joy in being pregnant. i was ELATED!!! i was so excited to tell Peter. i mean, we were pregnant after our first "try"!! (which is what made our journey for Claire and Annabel so confusing) anyway, that made me start thinking about it all. how our joy was stolen and our dreams for our daughter were crushed after our first ultrasound. our life took on a whole new meaning that day. then again on january 8th, i became a baby loss mom and had to leave the hospital with out my sweet girl. just typing that again brings me to tears, for the 2nd time in two days. the grief creeps in. my throat feels tight with tears.

of course God knows my heart, He knows my pain. last night, in the midst of my grief, my husband was there. he held me and let me cry. he let me talk and weep through it. we both miss her so much. we wondered how different it would be with Charlotte here...bossing her little sisters around. there is not a day that goes by that i don't wish things had been different, that i don't miss my baby girl. but this is our life...this is part of our story and sometimes there are parts that still hurt. sometimes the grief still knocks the wind out of me.

feels good to blog. thanks. also, i am sure there are plenty of grammatical and spelling errors, and i know i don't capitalize...i choose that. these are my vents and i will type as fast my fingers will let me with zero regard for rules!

blessings,
ALo

ps. i know a couple readers reached out (***Rachel :)***) and some of you found this through a search (usually my post on nuchal fold test). if you want to follow me on Instagram and see pics, just request me, its private..again because people are rude and steal images of my kids and pretend my kids are theirs...creeps!! my instagram name is aimlo. Facebook is Aimee Loeser. i will post a few pics here, but i need to figure out a watermark first.

Mothers Day 2013

i couldnt post yesterday. i was pretty tired. but thanks to my amazing husband (and babies, if you ask him) i was totally spoiled! peter helped in a huge way during the night by taking care of claire! all of her feedings and diaper changes, which was amazing because the girls somehow got way off schedule from each other! i woke up to feed annabel and found some amazing gifts from the girls! daddy helped them pick out a monogram necklace with the girls initials, and a kate spade pendant and earrings. so sweet! the gifts along with cards were in their bassinets. we took it easy that morning, sleeping in and what not...we went to church saturday night (sunday morning is still a little hard to get all of us ready, fed, bathed, and to church on time). i wanted brunch at a new breakfast place in town so we headed over there. the wait was crazy, but it all worked out because we were able to feed the girls while we waited. after lunch we went home to hang out and eventually went to some freinds' house out in the country. it was a great day of relaxing and enjoying our new family of four.

i, of course, couldnt help but think of my last two mothers days. i couldnt help but think of Charlotte. i miss her so much. i think about her all the time. i wonder which of the twins would look like her. i wonder if she would be a helpful big sister or more of the jealous type. i wonder what our lives would be like with a two year old and twins...well, i know what it would be like...it would be chaotic. but i also now know that Charlotte was SUPER sick. i mean, i have always known that, but when i look at my twins and i think about all the things Charlotte was facing/would have dealt with, it is just so overwhelming. Charlotte will always be our precious, perfect little baby, but i can say with full knowledge that God knew what He was doing, even though i still miss her so much!

i know that mother's day is hard for so many women. my heart ached for them yesterday. women who have lost their mothers. women who have lost their children, their babies. women who have lost hope of having children. women who have had to say good bye to too many things much too early. my heart aches for them. some of these women are friends of mine, family of mine. and i, unfortunately, know that there is nothing i can say to ease that pain, especially if this is the first mothers day after loss. but, does it ever really change for them? this mothers day was different for me this year because i was allowed to be celebrated. i had two babies to carry around. but not everyone can do that, many of them felt the same way i have the last two years and that hurts my heart. but they are still mothers. i like what my "fake mom", Caroline, posted:

"For EVERY woman today, a mother or not.... realizing women of all ages and stages of life may be experiencing different feelings today for various reasons.... YOU ARE LOVED, and your life is valuable and important in the lives of others. Many women who are not mother's have spoken immensely into my life, and the lives of others, and I am grateful to God for your life. . . . YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made! You are DEARLY LOVED!   Psalm 139:14"

i know that i am behind in posting 2 months photos. i am waiting until wednesday when we see the doctor for their visit...i will have their weight and height, etc. it got pushed back a week because we wanted to give the girls a chance to get over all their sicknesses before giving them shots, etc. so, i will post that this week :) 

here are a few pics from when peter's family was here the end of april and a few of me with my girls on mothers day and 2 collage pics to show how much our girls look just like us!! :) plus just a few others from here and there. enjoy! 

casual in their jeans and tshirts. annabel on left, claire right

claire all swaddled up at nap time

annabel was having a good dream

lol, claire was obviously totally relaxed

claire may not have been loving the ruffles

annabel wasnt sure either

all ready for bed! they wanted to sleep with mom and dad!

pretty sure those socks are 1/3 of her body! lol 

annabel's fit a little better

mothers day gift from claire

mothers day gift from annabel

claire was rocking daddy's shades while we waited for brunch

so precious! love you, claire! 

i am on the left and annabel is on the right. we are twins!

peter is on the left, claire is on the right! twins!

claire looks good in vera bradley!

so does annabel! starting them young!

annabel was so alert

claire may have been mid cough

aunt laura, mom with annabel, dad with claire, grandpa 

the LOtwins love their aunt Laura

babies and grandpa

mom, this sun is too bright!!! (ps. i remember saying this to my mom ALL the time growing up!!)

annabel smiling for me!! 

snuggles on mothers day with annabel

bed time kisses from claire on mothers day

blessings, ALo

A little observation

well, today has been a little bit eventful.

first, if you follow me on twitter or facebook...thanks for praying throughout the day, especially because i was giving you very little info. i was doing my best, but until about now, there was no down time to give more. here's what happened:

i had a routine weekly appointment scheduled at 11am with dr. todd. earlier in the day, i was receiving some not so good news about a family form our church. on friday, they gave birth to baby ava at 26 weeks. i knew she was in the NICU at the same hospital i go to for my appointments, so i was planning on stopping by and praying with the family right after my appointment. sadly, baby ava passed away and went to be with Jesus this morning. i got the news just as i was heading back to get my blood pressure checked. i knew it was going to be high...i told the nurse that. sure enough 138/84. VERY high for me!!! when dr. todd came in he was very concerned about my BP, the amount of cramping i was having, and the pressure in my pelvic area. he said i needed to go right down to labor and delivery for some observation and monitoring. i asked if it was really necessary as peter is still in honduras and i had not come prepared to be here. so said it was, that "he liked me too much not to be safe". to make this long story short, my BP is back to normal 112/58, my FFN (fetal fibronectin: swab test in "lady parts" to check for the possibility of preterm labor) came back negative, and my physical check and ultrasound both showed that my cervix is closed and long and that my uterus is high and thick. all very good things. i am still having contractions, but nothing long and strong or consistent. i am also feeling better after they let me have something to eat and drink. they also gave me a shot of steroids just to be sure that if i go into preterm labor and end up delivering, the girls will be fine. i wish i could just go home and rest, but i know that i am in good hands here. i have until late tomorrow afternoon for the 2nd shot...sometime around 3. looks like i will end up meeting my mom at my house and peter wont be far behind (hopefully). i am sure that i freaked him out a little bit, but i have been in really great hands! i have had such an outpouring of people here in houston that have offered to come bring me food or to just sit with me. i dont like putting people out, but i did let my friend jess come and bring me things like clean underwear and my computer. my friend jacqueline brought me some of my most favorite snacks. crazy things is, i didnt even tell her what they were...she guessed and totally got it right!! :) thanks so much to all you have offered. i feel so loved!!

please pray that these little girls keep growing on the inside!! they hated being on the monitors today...they are very active making it a challenge for all. but that is a good thing. the nurses were consistently coming in to change the sensors position, it was a little bit funny. ideally. claire and annabel will give us at least a few more weeks to get ready!!

please pray for my mom, uncle mike, and joann (mom's friend) as they travel to houston tomorrow. it is such great timing to have my mom here the rest of this week!!! God is so good!!!

please pray for peter and his team as they travel back from honduras tomorrow afternoon. i just got off the phone with him...he has had an amazing time!! i cant wait to hear all about it!!! i know he doesnt really want to leave those sweet girls behind. knowing i am being observed has probably helped him be a little more ready to come home. he is already making plans to go back!! :)

PLEASE be praying for the ritter family. i can imagine, only slightly, what they are going through having to say good bye to their sweet baby, ava dawn. erin and brady have three other small girls at home. i am sure they do not understand. grief is so hard without trying to help young children understand or to keep them on a healthy schedule. just please pray for God's comfort during this unimaginable time.

thanks so much for all your prayers!!! for me, for claire and annabel, for mom and peter, and for the ritter family!!

blessings, ALo

2

this time 2 years ago, i was in labor. i am still somewhat amazed that it has been two years since we first laid eyes on sweet Charlotte. well, she actually came on the 8th, but i am sitting here thinking about it all right now.

a few things are still the same and some things are different, even from last year. of course things are different...i am pregnant...with two! we are still so amazed that God has given us a double rainbow! i think some of the emotional stress is gone because we have the hope of more children this year, but there will always be a part of us that will always be raw from the pain of saying good bye to our first born. i think a lot about the post that i wrote not long after we said good bye (its a gusher)...comparing this journey to someone that looses a finger. my heart no longer feels as though it is hemorrhaging. in fact, unless you know me very well, or read this blog, you may not see the scars of saying good bye. you probably dont even know that we had to do that. the scars do not surface as much as they used to. but they are there. i can see them, i can feel them, there are times of pain, but not at all as often or nearly as intense. until about this time. Charlotte's birthday.

its not just her birthday that bring back some of the pain, although, we will always wish she were here to actually eat her birthday cake with us! this year, some of that pain is resurfacing through the prayers i am praying for bekah and her babies. peter and i were just talking over lunch today how much it feels like how we prayed when we first prayed for Charlotte. it was like that when i prayed with lisa for jaxton, it was like that when i prayed with piper for declan. my prayers for claire and annabel are so different than my prayers for Charlotte and for the bell's babies. i am pleading once again for God to grant life. to give them full term pregnancy. i am praying for the irregular sac to become perfectly normal. for bekah's levels to continue to rise. i find myself waking up at night being able to do nothing more than pray and plead and ask God to be merciful and grant this blessing to bekah and trav. that all takes me back to our time with Charlotte. even up to the night we were in labor, peter and i were still praying that God would change things. that Charlotte's heartbeat would somehow come back. that she would be fine. that He would give us a miracle. we never wanted to say good bye.

today, i can look back and see so many things that have changed or grown because of our short time with Charlotte. my faith is much deeper. i am able to take a step in faith knowing that God will make the way possible if i just trust Him. my relationship with peter is stronger. our love for each other has reached heights some people never see in marriage. my time with family is much more sacred to me than before...knowing that this is the family God has given me to love and be loved by.

this year peter and i will release balloons when he gets home from work. then we are going to dinner and having birthday cake. birthday cake may be more because i just want cake and this is a good excuse. :) i did just finish painting my nails in "Charlotte purple" too. we will both still go to work, have a "normal" day to anyone thats looking on the outside, but on the inside will be thinking about my Charlotte and celebrating the moments that we spent with her two years ago.

Charlotte, daddy and i love you so much! we wish more than anything that you were here to celebrate your 2nd birthday with us! i know that you are having so much more fun in heaven...maybe i wish i was there with you then. :) you mean more to us than you will ever know. our lives will never be the same. i cant wait to see you, but i think your sisters need me here for a little bit. i know that you are looking down just as excited about claire and annabel joining the family as we are. of course, it would have been nice to have parenting practice with your first, but i am relieved that you are healthy and perfect and sitting with Jesus! i love you, sweet baby girl!! xxoo, mommy

blessings, ALo

Big Year Already

this year is off to a crazy start!! some really great memories and some serious moments of prayer!

lets start with some of the fun memories...we ended and began the year with family!! it was so great!

over christmas we (peter and myself) traveled to michigan to spend some time with my huge family there. it was so great. it was chilly, but no such luck for a white christmas...even though it snowed in dallas...weird!! this year we were there a few days before christmas, peter left on christmas day (he had to work a few days that week) and on the 26th i headed south. being there early meant fun prep time before the big day and being the oldest of A LOT of kids, there was a bit of prep to be done. one of the highlights is always christmas eve at my grandmas southwick's house (my dad's side). its loud, there are kids everywhere, we play bingo, and everyone probably has more fun than needed :) no, it really is the best! the other highlight was pj/movie day at my brother jonathan's house. a few weeks before christmas, i had an idea of getting everyone coordinating pajamas for christmas and then helping to coordinate a fun family filled day. it was just my immediate family, but of course that was 21 people!! dad, jessie (dad's wife), me, peter, jonathan and whitney (bro and sis in law), kayla and carter (niece and nephew), grant and jim (bro and friend), olivia and brian (sis and bro in law), zoe (niece), my little sibs mamie, matilda, mila, maggie, edy, and jude and two extras, beal (jonathan's army bro) and michael (olivia's foreign exchange student). yep!! crazy!! 12 adults and 9 kids age 9 and under. we also learned that dad and jessie are expecting a new baby in september! whats one more when you have 10, right dad??!!? :) movie day was so fun! tacos, pizza, snacks, movies, lots of sugar and a few pictures. plus the kids got to open a gift...it really was so awesome!

on the 26th i headed down to marco island, florida to meet up with my mom and a lot of her side of the family...including most of my siblings (well, as grant calls us, the first batch: me, jonathan, grant, and olivia). florida was fantastic. it was warm, sunny, full of family, plenty of down time on the beach and just what i needed to recover from the cold i got in michigan. the best part of this week was the beach. we dont always go to the beach when we go to marco but with the nieces and nephew around plus michael from germany, we all ventured out. it was so fun to watch the kids play in the sand, find sea shells and to be able to lounge with the adults. second best was pool time! mom rented a nice house (not enough room for all of us at mimi and boppa's house!) with a great pool and hot tub (no i did not get in the hot tub...dont worry!) i even got to give zoe (almost 2) her first haircut out by the pool. it was so cute!! peter and i have both said a few times this week that we cant wait to retire and move to marco island! it really is one of the best places we have ever been! i am blessed to have made it a home away from home since before i was born...doesnt get much better than that!! thanks to my mom for making it so relaxing and enjoyable...it was a great belated christmas and an awesome start to the new year!!

here are a bunch of pics...then scroll down to join in praying for a sweet friend of mine!

Carter was really excited!! :)

American Girl dolls!

LOL, typical Edy skepticism! 

Jude just wanted to be a little bigger. 

Zoe trying on her mom's ear muffs

Uncle Petey liked Carter's lincoln logs too!

the guys in their pjs

cute!

Dad, Jessie and the kids

Dad and his girls

"the original batch"

all of Dad's kids

all of the girls in their pjs

Christmas eve @ grandma's. these are just some of the grandkids/great grandkids

Christmas stockings

breakfast with my grandma!!! love her!!

do we look alike?? :) love you, dad!

Zoe and Uncle Grant in the hot tub

Zoe's first haircut!!! lol

Then Aunt Aimee painted her nails :)

Mom and her kids (except Jonathan, sad!)

grandkids and their Mimi

Mimi Reva, Boppa, Mom and the kids

I love my Mimi and Boppa!! So blessed!!

Group shot

My awesome hubby and me. LOVE him!!!

Uncle Petey with Kayla and Carter (aka Raphael) on the docks! 

Peter and Michael found a HUGE mollusk!!

Zoe and Carter on the beach 

the twins loved the sunshine!! 25 weeks 6days

so, yes, 2012 ended with fantastic memories and began with awesome family time. but, there have also been things that have kept me on my knees pleading with God.

bekah and i have been friends since she started dating my cousin while we were all in college. our friendship grew quickly right after peter and i were married and she and travis got serious. we went on countless double dates, ate plenty of penny candy, and shared real life together. peter and i both had the privilege of being a part of their bridal party and watching them begin their married lives together. we were so sad to say good bye to them when we moved to texas. but distance has not kept bekah and me from still being close friends. she even made a trip down here last spring to spend a long weekend with me. we did nothing but sit on the couch and watch both seasons of downton abbey (fitting that it started again tonight!!). bekah was a huge source of encouragement and support and one of our biggest prayer warriors when we were pregnant with Charlotte and ultimately had to say good bye (in fact, trav and bekah were some of the first people that we told we were pregnant with Charlotte). i got a call from bekah just before leaving for christmas break to tell me that she is pregnant! she also shared that this fall, she and trav suffered a miscarriage, but had never told anyone. when we talked before christmas, she asked me to start praying. no one else knew, but she was fearful of going down the same road as she did in the fall. i was honored to begin praying with them and the family that God was creating. bekah called me this thursday with some devastating news, doctors told her that she was most likely miscarrying again. we were all so upset. the ultrasound showed an irregular shaped sac and bekah had been bleeding. they were told to just wait. on friday, bekah and trav rushed back because she was hemorrhaging while teaching. during a second ultrasound, the doctor found TWO heartbeats!! there are still some concerns, but the dramatic change from thursday to friday is nothing short of a miracle and answered prayer!! bekah's hormone levels are high (indicative of twins, which is good) but there are still a few concerns. she will go back again tuesday for more lab work. please join me in praying for this sweet friend of mine!! i can not even put into words how much i love her and trav and how excited i am for them. i am certain that God has some incredible things for them through these two little babies. they are already capturing so many of our hearts at such an early stage!! i cant wait to give you an amazing update!!! :)

this is exactly what bekah posted tonight along with the picture:
Fall 2012: We had a miscarriage.
December 2012: We find out we're pregnant. 
Thursday: After some bleeding, the ultrasound shows an irregular sac, and we're told we're probably going to miscarry in the next few days. 
Friday: I leave school, hemorrhaging. Trav meets me at the hospital for an ultrasound. We find TWO HEARTBEATS and are told we have TWINS.
Today: We acknowledge God is a God of miracles, and there is POWER IN PRAYER. Please join us in praying for our two precious heartbeats.
We have two requests. 1) that my hormone levels continue to increase, which shows the babies are developing 2) that both babies (but especially the smaller one) continue to grow and strengthen.

We covet your prayers and admit we're scared- but leaning on the God Who will never leave us nor forsake us!

ps. cedarville university is a small liberal arts Bible college in ohio. while i was not the most popular girl in school, i did have a few close friends. of those that i would consider a friend, not just someone i knew from around campus, 5 of us have twins!! tiffany (lived across the hall and was in choir with me) brenna (my roommate), brittany (practically a housemate), me, and now bekah. something has got to be in the water!! especially because i am the only one that has had any "help" (fertility treatments) in the matter!

thanks for praying. thanks for being a part of my new year. i know that there will be a lot going on (especially in the next 2 months!!!) i really hope to keep everyone in the loop!! :)

blessings, ALo