Happy Birthday, Charlotte!

To my sweet girl,
Happy 1st birthday! I cant believe that you have been gone for a whole year! daddy and i miss you so much it hurts. today we have talked about you together, prayed together for you, and ate cookies together to celebrate the day you were born. daddy and i both wrote messages on balloons for you. i know that you wont get them, but it helped us seeing those purple balloons lift off towards your birthday celebration in heaven. Charlotte, you are the best thing that has ever happened to us. we are so thankful for each moment that we had with you!! God knew exactly what He was doing when he formed your little body. we are so glad that you are now in His loving arms, safe and healthy, waiting for us. daddy and i cant wait to see who you look like and what your personality is like. are you spunky like me, or super chill like dad? there are so many things that we are missing out on, but we know that this is the way God has had it planned since the beginning of time. this next year we hope to have your little brother or sister, but we will never forget how you paved the way for our hearts to love. we will never forget all the joy that you have brought us! Charlotte Jean, mommy and daddy love you with our whole hearts. we think about you each and every day and miss you more than we could have imagined. happy first birthday/angelversary!!

today has been a great day. not that we have not shed tears; not that we have not had moments of intense pain and sadness, but it has been great because most of our day was spent together, thinking and talking about our time with Charlotte. peter and i went to church this morning pretty early and we were there until about 1. it was so nice to be there, worshipping with the middle schoolers and being challenged by jason to "get off the fence" in our relationship with God. i also had a few responsibilities to keep me distracted most of the morning from everything else that was going on. after church, we went to lunch with a big group of people from church. there is this really awesome burger joint called "the shack"...i left stuffed! when we got home, peter and i wrote messages to Charlotte on some balloons that we bought, prayed together, and released the balloons. i got teary/emotional, but it was so nice to have peter right there with his arms around me. we were able to spend so much time together, laying on the couch, talking about what we think Charlotte would be like if she were here. more tears were shed, but not necessarily just sad tears. lots of longing, but we know that she has been made whole and is just waiting for us to meet her in heaven when it is our time.

thank you sooooo much for all the prayers, text messages, calls, facebook notes, cards and other forms of encouragement. i have felt so supported and loved through it all!! here are a few pictures from today.

at "the shack" for lunch

ballons with Charlotte's blanket

peter's message to his sweet girl

my message to my baby girl

just before the release

new "hope" willow tree from robin and blake, with a sweet card!! love that it is a balloon! 

napping with his sweet's blanket...love this!!!

 Psalm 139:13-16 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."


this still stands out to me from last year, so i thought i would share it again. this is what peter posted on facebook when we got home from the hospital a year ago. LOVE HIM!! he is such an amazing dad!!

"Today we said goodbye to a child we never knew, but whom we love more than words could express. Our baby girl Charlotte was not meant to know this world, but is now at perfect peace in the gracious and loving hands of our Lord, where she will feel neither pain nor sadness. Although the loss of her physical body will take time to recover from we have comfort in knowing she is experiencing inexplicable joy in the presence of her Creator and that one day we will see her again."


blessings, ALo