Wednesday, June 8, 2011

5 months

it has been 5 months, today, since i got to see Charlotte face to face. it has been 5 months since i had to say good bye. today was a pretty "normal" day for me. i actually woke up pretty late because i stayed up until 2:30am working on Charlotte's celebration photo the way, it is going to be so nice. i am still so thankful to emily for taking so many great photos!! so, i didnt wake up until almost 9am then i ate breakfast while i watched The Voice that had recorded. is anyone else watching it? i sure do love blake shelton! :) i then got right to work finishing my photo book. if i finish it and order it before tomorrow i get free shipping! duh!! well, i finished it!!! now, after i post this i am going to proof it and buy it! :) well, me being a perfectionist got caught up and was then running late for a few "home hair" appointments. i quick jumped in the shower and got ready in about 20 minutes...if you would have seen me today you would have totally guessed that too! my apologies if you did see me! anyway, i was able to spend the afternoon with my friends joyce and debbie. i have been doing their hair basically since i started. they started coming to me while i was in cosmetology school, then home hair before i was full time in the salon, then at the salon, now back to home hair. they are so loyal, but i think it has more to do with a friendship than what i actually do for their hair...thanks girls...although they are both good about drumming up more business for me (thanks!!!). on the way home, i stopped at the grocery store for steaks. it has been so hot here, but i know that the rain is coming, so i thought tonight would be a perfect night for was! i made sauteed mushrooms, fresh corn on the cob, mashed potatoes and the grilled steaks. it was delicious. now, i cant wait for the fresh strawberries and homemade whipped cream we are going to have for dessert! all of this has been pretty "normal'. not much different than what i would have done last summer. the difference is not something that anyone else will really notice. today, when i woke up, the first thing i thought about was Charlotte. today, when i was making the photo book all i kept thinking was about Charlotte...this was a pattern all day. this is a pattern everyday. this is probably not different for those of you who have kids...i assume you think about them all day every day. today has not been a sad day necessarily, i have only cried once, i just think about her and how different my life would be if she were here...if i had a 5 month old baby.

i was asked today if i had little ones. i wish i knew exactly how to answer that without making everyone involved feel awkward. i dont want to say no, but how do i say yes? today i said "well, technically yes, but we lost our baby in january." i felt bad for myself having to saying that, i felt bad for the person asking...ugh...this sucks sometimes! hopefully in the next 5 months i will have a better feel on how to handle that!

thank you for all who have been praying for me, for us! thank you to all who sent encouragement after my last post! i have had a much better attitude this week (so far) and have been looking to God when i feel down or discouraged! and...i have not been running to food the past week when something (good or bad) happens!! my waistline is seeing a difference!! :) thanks, friends!

Psalm 145:17-20 "The LORD is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The LORD watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever."

blessings, ALo

1 comment:

  1. So sorry you have had to endure the pain and heartache of these last 5 months. Praying for you, sweet friend, as you continue to celebrate and love your precious Charlotte.