Circles

circles...dark ones...they are showing up under my eyes!! anyone have any tricks/good products/etc?? i mean, i know that they are not going away any time soon, so...whatever. :) in all reality, things are going pretty good! since my last post both of the girls have gotten sick, we have had several of my siblings here from michigan, and my legs still itch! 

annabel and claire got some congestion from someone and then annabel somehow got an ear infection...at 5 weeks old! what the heck??!!?? poor baby!! the ear infection then led to thrush because of the antibiotic (that seems backwards to me, btw). so, two antibiotics also leads to seriously messed up poop. that led to our first blowout diaper. of course we were out at a softball game. in case you are wondering, bleachers are just wide enough to change my babies!! lol. through it all, the girls have continued to be very good babies!! they rarely cry unless they are hungry or needing a diaper change. they have each been sleeping pretty good. their sleeping is good but mine is still lacking...only because i am up feeding two separately. at night, i am up for about 35 min with each baby, that adds up pretty quickly. i am usually able to do the night feedings alone, giving peter a chance to sleep as much as possible, after all, he cant take a nap mid afternoon. i rarely nap, but its the knowing i usually can if needed. but, all of that is contributing to my dark circles. while i am gaining circles, i am loosing weight. i am 6 pounds less than when i got pregnant!! my skin is still loose across my belly and my belly is shaped differently now and lets not even discuss the stretch marks. but its nice to say that i lost all my pregnancy weight within the first month and continue to loose! now, most of that is due to forgetting to eat, but whatever!! lol.

so, we have also had lots of family visiting the last two weeks. my sister, olivia, and her 2 year old, zoe, came to visit for a long weekend. liv was a HUGE help while she was here. i loved having zoe here too! she is so smart and was super sweet with annabelclaire (yes, they are one person in her mind). liv and i did some shopping, we all went for frozen yogurt (several times), we went to the park and used the moby wraps for the first time, and had some great sister time! i hope that annabel and claire grow up having an awesome relationship with each other. liv and i are finally becoming close, and i love it! right after i dropped olivia and zoe off at the airport i got a call from my brother jonathan that he and his wife and his best friend were coming down the following day for a few days. WHAT??!!?? ok! my bro (whom i call paco) is very quiet and not open about anything. him calling to say he wanted to visit meant the world to me. it was so great having paco, whitney, and beal here. we ate out (thanks, paco), whitney and i had fun girl time while the boys went to a million gun shops, and we took advantage of the media room. i really miss my family and loved having them here! this week some of peter's family comes on thursday..his sis laura and dad carl. we have had a ton of out of town company...we are so blessed!

yep, legs still itch. i went to see dr. todd for my follow up and he has no idea what it is. he told me to go  see a dermatologist. i had an appointment, but i was having a rough day and needed to cancel. so, i still itch, like crazy!! i have little raised bumps from my knees down. i work very hard not to scratch, but i cant help it sometimes...ugh!!!

i of course think my girls are sweet and totally adorable, so here are a few pics!! :)

on our way to church

aunt livvy and the girls. annabel in pink, claire in blue

momma and her babies

i love this pic!! 

daddy holding claire in the moby wrap at the park! :)

momma and annabel. we both love to swing!

all of out to dinner! 

Liv and Zoe at menchie's for fro yo

some of the many faces of claire..all within 45 seconds!! lol

Uncle Paco and Claire. she wasnt too sure about him!! lol

pics while out to dinner. top left: Claire. top right: Peter and Beal. bottom left: Paco, me, and Whitney. bottom right: Annabel

the girls fell asleep while i blow dried my hair this morning!  so sweet 

Claire all dressed up to meet daddy's coworkers today. 

Annabel liked wearing her Easter dress again!

precious!! 

i am a momma in love, even with the dark circles! i have things i could complain about (and sometimes i do), but i am choosing to be grateful! 

blessings, ALo

One Month

the LOtwins are one month old!! i really cant believe it! this month has flown by!! we are so thankful for how this first month has gone! i have loved (almost) every single moment. the only thing that was hard was recovering from surgery...feeling and knowing that i missed out on the very first few moments/day of their life because i was recovering. but, aside from that, life has never been more perfect, more fulfilling, and more unpredictable!

Claire Mackenzie:
loves to look around and becomes very wide eyed when moving from dark to light rooms. she loves to look at herself in the mirror when getting her diaper changed or getting dressed...we could be in trouble! :) she is a good eater, but makes a complete mess of herself and whoever is feeding her. she is now eating between 3 and 4 ounces every few hours. she is a great sleeper and doesnt even wake up when her sister screeches! claire is still our little peanut, but has gained almost 2 pounds this month. claire needs to work on her neck strength a little, but she is doing very good for her size! claire fits great into newborn onesies/tops, but newborn pants are too big around her waist. however, she is too big, especially too long, for preemie pants. we still call her curious claire...she just loves to know what is going on...when she is actually awake! :)

a little shy at first...look at that dark hair!!

hi, mom! i love those little bloomer shorts! 

we think she looks like her daddy, just more girly :)

passed out on daddy during pictures :)

Annabel Marie:
really loves to be held!! that has become even more evident the last two days. she gets upset when i have to feed or bathe claire in the mornings and no one is there to hold her. she is a good eater and keeps a lot more of it in her mouth, she just takes a little longer. annabel is our little grunter...she makes so many noises throughout the day, including the cutest snorting noises especially when she is done eating. annabel is becoming our chunky monkey. she is starting to little rolls and i love it! i just love kissing her cheeks. she fits great into newborn clothes, but is also abel to wear a few 0-3 month outfits. she is about a pound heavier and inch longer than claire. she really loves bath time and becomes so alert during her bath. i treasure those few moments! annabel loves to wake me up at night by screeching at the top of her lungs...its piercing. annabel was laid back in the beginning, but has shown us her more dramatic side as of late. annabel loves to cuddle with her daddy and it melts my heart to see them together. i am totally in love with this little girl!

yes there are a few more pics of annabel...thats because her mood was all over the place...its was so funny!

she got really ticked right away...mad i changed her clothes and put on the headband. 

annabel mid screech

then acting like nothing happened

little smirk...mischievous just like her momma! 

then she totally passed out!

just wanted to hang with her daddy. she looks a lot like me!

they are really sweet babies and i am so blessed!

attempt number one: two screaming babies. just like our mornings. it happens! 

they love their daddy!!! 

attempt number two: much better and the normal. laid back sleeping babies.

 blessings, ALo

New Crazy

well, of course, my life has taken on a new form of crazy. i am the mother of twin girls...i think that explains it all! so, i am sorry for the lack of posts, but this first four weeks has been all about learning how to adjust to this new crazy life.

honestly, i must have been reading major horror stories, and people must only tell me the crappy stories of being a mom of multiples because, so far, this has gone a lot better than i ever expected! i do have awesome babies though too! they both are great eaters and sleepers. i dont love the whole diaper part, but that is probably normal! :) today, my favorite thing we do is bath time...they love it, and i love how they smell after!

the first three weeks home we were lucky enough to have our moms here! peters mom, susan, was here for two weeks and my mom this whole last week. this is the first week we are on our own! my sister and 2 year old niece will be here thursday, but until then...just babies and momma!!

we have had some really awesome adventures the last few weeks: Easter (yes, we went to church. the girls looked adorable), lots of shopping (including a 3 hour trip to the outlet mall), a day trip to waco, tx. (waco is two and a half hours away, i have cousins that are there at Baylor), and buying a new car for momma! the girls are really good about traveling and being out and about, thankfully!! we love to meet up with people for lunch or coffee or a stroll around target (we haven't done that yet...i have to figure out the logistics of that...2 carseats but only room for one in the cart!)

with all our running around, i am not surprised that someone got sick. that someone was me and it was on Easter. :( so sad!! we had gone to church saturday night to avoid some of the major crowds, but we still saw plenty of people we knew. sunday i woke up not feeling that great and as the day progressed, i just kept feeling worse. we went to our friends house for an Easter cookout, and i spent the whole time sleeping on the couch...so sad! thankfully no one else in the house got it!!

that sickness did a number on me...and a HUGE number on my milk supply. that has been the hardest thing for me during this new journey...nursing. in the beginning, the girls did not want to/couldnt figure out how to latch on. after several days, we were all frustrated and stressed out. so, i started pumping and still supplementing with formula. i was not producing enough for both girls, but started taking fenugreek and eating lactation cookies (thanks, lisa!!) and drinking a TON of water. i was getting almost two ounces (total) each time i pumped (yeah, not a lot). but being sick really took a toll. i am now only getting a little less than an ounce (total) at each pump session. what a bummer!! i am so sad!! i have thought several times about giving up, but i am still holding out hope that my supply will pick up again. my biggest frustration is that i feel like a failure. i am supposed to be able to do this, my body is supposed to be able to do this. yes, i know that things happen, but still. i really wanted to be able to do this with and for my girls. both girls are growing like weeds and getting things that they need from the formula, but it would have been ideal to have me suppling the nourishment. but like many things...i made plans to nurse and i have had to change those plans. (that has been a theme the last four weeks!)

my life is crazy, but its amazing! its demanding, but so rewarding! its the most amazing blessing to be the mom to these two beautiful baby girls!!

Claire loves this hair bow, i promise!! 

Claire has fuzzy hair after her baths!! 

Annabel was ticked during Easter morning pictures!! lol

Cousin Alyson (sophomore at Baylor) loved having coffee with the girls!

Cousin Brett (on the football coaching staff at Baylor) tried getting the  twins recruited! 

Claire was serious about shopping for her new hat

Annabel was totally underwhelmed!

Thanks, Mimi, for the cuteness!!

Annabel is becoming a chunky monkey!! 

Annabel loves TV time with mom!

sisters snoozin!

Momma and her babies in our Easter best

3 generations and lots of spring colors! (thats my mom, aka Mimi)

family of four!!! love this!! what a blessing!!

momma's new to us Acadia...room for cars seats and passengers!

we have taken sooooooo many pics...these were just a few! i am seriously obsessed! lol!! we did have a doctor check up a week ago today... Claire weighed in at 6lb 7oz and Annabel was 7lb 6 oz. they are gaining weight really well and we dont go back until their two month check up!! woohoo!!

hope you are all great! thanks for all the continued support and encouragement!!

blessings, ALo

im a momma

i never knew, i never could have imagined, what it would be like to be a momma. to say its the greatest, and scariest, feeling ever is a huge understatement! i became a mother when i had Charlotte, but being a momma...a true care taker...doing the daily ins and outs of motherhood, has been a whole new experience. and thankfully one that i adore so far!

you know the phrase "always a bridesmaid, never a bride". for a long time i wondered if i would always be an aunt, never a momma. God has made all of my dreams come true in the form of curious Claire Mackenzie and sleepy Annabel Marie. 

one of the most amazing things happens when the girls are upset, especially claire. all i have to do is say in a soothing voice, "Claire, its momma. im right here. you are ok" and she calms right down. just the sound of my voice, even from across the room, and her whole demeanor changes. it melts my heart each and every time!! 

seeing their sweet daddy with them also makes me melt. i dont even know the right words to use to describe all that i see in peter when he is with his babies. he is more that supportive and does more than "his share" of the duties. i rarely have to ask him to do something. he changes diapers, makes and cleans bottles, helps with the late night feedings, and just loves to cuddle his daughters. to hear him praying for them and for our family has helped me fall even more in love with him...something i didnt know i could do. 

our family of four is doing great. yes, i am up every two hours at night, but thankfully the girls are both good eaters and good sleepers making the early hours a little more bearable. they are both getting big...well bigger. i know in pictures they look like every other "average" sized baby, but they are just little peanuts! as of monday at the doc appointment, Claire weighed in at 4lb 15oz and Annabel was 5lb 6oz. they have had lots of visitors and great meals from so many people here in texas. grandma loeser (peter's mom) has been here just over a week and will be here until the 28th. its so nice to have so much help and love for our little sweets!! 

i am doing pretty good. by the end of the pregnancy (friday, the day before delivery) i was up 44 pounds total. my feet and ankles and legs were so full of fluid it hurt to do much. my skin on my belly hurt and itched from stretching (with plenty of marks to prove it) and my heartburn was a permanent fixture. pretty much as soon as i delivered, all of those things started to resolve themselves. while i still have the stretch marks, all of the fluid in my legs has dissipated. i have lost 43 pounds as of today...what??!!?? i still itch, but its a different itch, a side effect of the spinal block (i have scrathed my legs raw in some places...its driving me crazy!). praying (very hard) that it goes away soon! i am feeling pretty good, but still try not to over do it. my scar is still fresh after all.

i am blessed. i have TWO healthy (and adorable) babies. i have an awesome hubby who is my perfect partner in parenting, i am recovering well and my health is basically back to normal. i am blessed because i am finally a momma!!! i just cant stop saying it...it all seems unreal at times! there are things that i could complain about, but i am choosing to cherish the sweet times i have right now with my family with out focusing too much on the "hard parts"... after all, I AM (finally) A MOMMA!!!!

thank you, God, for these children that we have prayed for!!!

Claire

Annabel

Annabel

Claire

They like to nap together. Claire on left, Annabel on right

Claire needed to cuddle for a bit after her bottle, this taken while blogging. :)

blessings, ALo

Claire Mackenzie and Annabel Marie

THEY ARE HERE!!!!

i can not believe that i have not posted anything over the last few weeks. if you have been trying to follow along, im sorry you have been left hanging. unless we are friends on Facebook/twitter/instagram, you would have no idea. "my" laptop had to be turned in when i resigned from my job, and our home computer pretty much completely crashed that same week.

so, the quick version goes like this: after that 33 week appointment (last post) my blood pressure was all over the map at pretty much any given point. i would have really good days and really bad days. of course, it just so happened that each time i would have a doctors appointment, i usually had a bad day. i was asked to stay for observation 3 times. those stays always involved a 24 hour urine test to see if there was a certain protein in my urine that would be indicative of pre eclampsia. there was one visit (at 34 weeks) that peter and i took ourselves to the hospital because i was having regular contractions. turns out it was not true labor and we were sent home, but not before a 24 hours test :). in the end, peter and i met up for my bi-weekly appointment with dr. todd on friday march 8. my blood pressure was very high (no surprise to us) and we were admitted. at the end of another 24 hour test and no eating or drinking for over 9 hours, dr. todd came in on march 9 and gave us the option to deliver that night (saturday) or sunday morning. we chose right then...we were tired of all the back and forth, plus i had already not eaten...what was a few more hours? dr. todd thought the girls were ready and based on an ultrasound from friday, told us to expect 6.5-7lb babies, pretty big for 35 weeks and 3 days!!!

on saturday, march 9 at 8:02pm, Claire Mackenzie Loeser was born, weighing 4lb 11oz and 18 inches long.

on saturday, march 9 at 8:04pm, Annabel Marie Loeser was born, weighing 5lb 9oz and 19.5 inches long.

thankfully, the girls came out doing great. they were smaller than what the ultrasound predicted (no surprise there), but were very healthy! they were breathing great on their own and showed no signs of needing assistance. they did go to NICU for the first night for observation and to "be safe"...after all, they were twins and born late term pre mature. unfortunately for me, things didnt go quite as i had planned in my head. dont get me wrong, i had two healthy beautiful babies, but because of my BP issues and because i have amazing doctors who are cautious, i was unable to spend much time with the girls until 6pm sunday night. i was taken to antipartum instead of postpartum to have medicine to control my BP (although it was stable after delivery). i was not allowed to leave my room, and the girls were not able to leave theirs. so, outside of seeing them for 5 min between my move from recovery to antipartum, i did not see them...just a few pics and videos peter and other visitors would show me. BUT all things considered, i am so blessed!! i have said several times over the last few weeks, we make plans so that we can change them!

the great news is that after the normal 4 days after c-section stay in the hospital we came home all together as a family of four! in fact, we could have left after 3 days, but we opted for the extra day to adjust to being parents with the nursing help if needed. how many 35 week twins can go home 3 days after delivery??!!??

after being home for a few days, i am so happy to say that we are all doing fantastic! we are TOTALLY in love! i have the cutest baby girls (no bias there), they are good eaters, amazing sleepers, and all around perfect!

they do not really look anything alike and we can already tell they are going to have unique personalities...its so fun! they also have their daddy wrapped around their little, tiny finger! peter has been an amazing dad from the get go, and this week he has really stepped up his game. i feel like the luckiest woman in the world to have him as my partner in parenthood (more on this later).

for tonight, i will leave you with the above...maybe i will share more later...like my c-section experience...not at all what i thought it would be. and of course i will have to really tell you how life at home is going. please feel free to follow me on the social media sites...there have been some really cute pics of my sweets added over the last week. geesh...my babies are a week old already!!! but, in case you dont want to do that, here are just a couple.

first day! top is Claire (baby a) bottom is Annabel (baby b)

taking a snooze on daddy's lap in the hospital. Claire on the left, Annabel on the right

i am one tired momma, but soooooo happy! (day 3) Annabel on left and Claire on right

finally at home! Claire on left, Annabel right

one week old at the newborn photoshoot. peter loves his new job! Annabel on the left, Claire on the right

cant believe they have been here a week! Annabel on left, Claire on right

thanks for all the prayers and support and encouragement for peter and me and our girls. we really could not be more blessed or more thankful for all that God has given us in the form of these amazing little people!

blessings, ALo