im a momma

i never knew, i never could have imagined, what it would be like to be a momma. to say its the greatest, and scariest, feeling ever is a huge understatement! i became a mother when i had Charlotte, but being a momma...a true care taker...doing the daily ins and outs of motherhood, has been a whole new experience. and thankfully one that i adore so far!

you know the phrase "always a bridesmaid, never a bride". for a long time i wondered if i would always be an aunt, never a momma. God has made all of my dreams come true in the form of curious Claire Mackenzie and sleepy Annabel Marie. 

one of the most amazing things happens when the girls are upset, especially claire. all i have to do is say in a soothing voice, "Claire, its momma. im right here. you are ok" and she calms right down. just the sound of my voice, even from across the room, and her whole demeanor changes. it melts my heart each and every time!! 

seeing their sweet daddy with them also makes me melt. i dont even know the right words to use to describe all that i see in peter when he is with his babies. he is more that supportive and does more than "his share" of the duties. i rarely have to ask him to do something. he changes diapers, makes and cleans bottles, helps with the late night feedings, and just loves to cuddle his daughters. to hear him praying for them and for our family has helped me fall even more in love with him...something i didnt know i could do. 

our family of four is doing great. yes, i am up every two hours at night, but thankfully the girls are both good eaters and good sleepers making the early hours a little more bearable. they are both getting big...well bigger. i know in pictures they look like every other "average" sized baby, but they are just little peanuts! as of monday at the doc appointment, Claire weighed in at 4lb 15oz and Annabel was 5lb 6oz. they have had lots of visitors and great meals from so many people here in texas. grandma loeser (peter's mom) has been here just over a week and will be here until the 28th. its so nice to have so much help and love for our little sweets!! 

i am doing pretty good. by the end of the pregnancy (friday, the day before delivery) i was up 44 pounds total. my feet and ankles and legs were so full of fluid it hurt to do much. my skin on my belly hurt and itched from stretching (with plenty of marks to prove it) and my heartburn was a permanent fixture. pretty much as soon as i delivered, all of those things started to resolve themselves. while i still have the stretch marks, all of the fluid in my legs has dissipated. i have lost 43 pounds as of today...what??!!?? i still itch, but its a different itch, a side effect of the spinal block (i have scrathed my legs raw in some places...its driving me crazy!). praying (very hard) that it goes away soon! i am feeling pretty good, but still try not to over do it. my scar is still fresh after all.

i am blessed. i have TWO healthy (and adorable) babies. i have an awesome hubby who is my perfect partner in parenting, i am recovering well and my health is basically back to normal. i am blessed because i am finally a momma!!! i just cant stop saying it...it all seems unreal at times! there are things that i could complain about, but i am choosing to cherish the sweet times i have right now with my family with out focusing too much on the "hard parts"... after all, I AM (finally) A MOMMA!!!!

thank you, God, for these children that we have prayed for!!!

Claire

Annabel

Annabel

Claire

They like to nap together. Claire on left, Annabel on right

Claire needed to cuddle for a bit after her bottle, this taken while blogging. :)

blessings, ALo